Hide and Seek

I am inspired to write things during the craziest of mundane activities in my life. Today, I was cleaning the bathroom. Mind you, not my favorite task by ANY means. As a matter of fact, I rather enjoy living in a clean and organized home, but I don't like the effort required to get it that way. You can ask my mother. "Neat and tidy" was never my nickname as a kid. Now that I'm an adult, I am responsible for it. And I still don't like to do it.

As I was cleaning, it crossed my mind how we often "hide" things when we are having company. We'll stash this or that instead of taking the time to really clean it, because, you know, "they'll never know." Who is going to come for a visit and immediately look under the bed, in the drawer or the closet? Most people wouldn't, right? I mean, how rude to walk into someone else's home and start digging through their closets!

I was chuckling to myself about that thinking, if we'd all give the time required to keep things neat and tidy we wouldn't have to hide things. Then, a new thought crossed my mind, what if our guest was Jesus? What would we try to hide?

I've done that in my spiritual life often during the course of my journey. I'll bring something to God that is a complete and utter mess. It's chaotic. It's disorganized. It's filthy. Covered. I've done all I can to clean it up and finally relented it's impossible under my own strength. And I realize God is the only "cleanser" for this problem. Finally, with my head ducked and my tail tucked, I will present it at the His feet and sheepishly mumble something about how I can't do it and I need Him once again. All the while, there are a thousand other things I've crammed into my closet in an attempt to hide them from the One who can cleanse it all.

Why do we do this?

As I ponder that question in light of my own life and walk with God, I think it boils down to my view of Him. It's kind of fluid. And it really should be static, in my opinion. It moves from the Angry God I learned about as a child. To the loving God I've met as an adult. Depending upon what needs cleaning and how "horrible" I see that mess determines where I see God on the continuum.

Here's my revelation for the day, God is love. He's always love. He's never shame. He's never condemnation. Nothing I do surprises Him. Nothing I hide is hidden. He patiently waits for me to swallow the pride of this world I so arrogantly display and come to Him in humility realizing once again that this mess I give Him, this convoluted, tangled, mud covered, sin stained mess doesn't shock Him and doesn't decrease my value to Him. Because I've run crazy trying to "handle" this world, trying to change things that aren't mine, trying to orchestrate the stars for my gain, trying to think I can do things better than God -- none of that decreases my value to Him. And He's never surprised that I tried again. And when I return to Him with my latest mess, or sometimes the same mess He wasn't finish cleaning that I stole back, He greets me the same: open arms, loving face, kisses on my head to tell me, "Child, let me do it this time. Just be still. Just be patient. I love you. I have plans for you. Not harm. Trust me, daughter."

I needed to "get this" again today. I needed to remember God is love. I needed to remember that I have the ability to pick and choose this mess or that mess to give to Him; but He wants all of my messes. He wants all of me. And even though I've stacked the closet full until the door won't shut, He does know what's in there. And He wants it all.
What are you hiding? He loves you. Open your door. He won't shame you. He will help you.

Be blessed my friends.
Jeani

Matthew 11:28 (New Living Translation)
28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.