Love WHO??

I'm sure you, like me, have those people who've come into your life and left a really bad taste in your mouth or that pit of your stomach, acid feel at the mere mention of their name. Anything that triggers a memory of them will take you instantly from a place of peace to one of anger, resentment and regret. There are some who are no longer a part of my life I admittedly would still probably have a difficult time restraining myself from physical confrontation; it was that bad.

And over the course of my reconnection to the Father, and through my studies I've found the following set of scripture to be the absolute most challenging at this point in my journey:

Matthew 5:43-48 (New International Version)

Love for Enemies

43"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor[a] and hate your enemy.' 44But I tell you: Love your enemies[b] and pray for those who persecute you, 45that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

I am no where near where I'd like to be with this. And this may be one of those items that He presents before me over and over and over until I finally get it.

I break it down this way -

Verse 43 reminds us of the old laws and the old ways before Christ came on the scene. Verse 43 let's us know that Jesus knows how humans have operated up to this point. The whole eye-for-and-eye principle. And He knows that was an acceptable practice in those times - up until He arrived.

In 44, He lays out a new principle, new rules to replace that old theory. We're not allowed to hate our enemies any longer. We're told to love them and we're instructed to pray for anyone who comes against us.

In 45, Jesus reminds us that the Father loves all of His children, those who do good and those do not do good. In God's eyes, the love for each of us is equal and unconditional.

In 46 & 47, we receive a challenge. He points out to us that if we love only those who love us, how are we any different than those who do not do good (for in that time, tax collectors were not honest and were considered sinners or bad people). Are we not then the same as the ones we condemn?

In 48, He asks that we be perfect as the Father. He's not asking us to be "perfect" as in zero mistakes, no falters, no missteps. He's asking us to be perfect in how we see others - as children of God and love everyone, even those who do not show us love.

I really struggle with this. I really, really have a difficult time being kind to someone who is unkind to me. I have difficulty being fair with someone who treats me unfairly or with disrespect. If someone is belittling me, I am really challenged to be gracious. But I have tried it once or twice and this is what I've found.

I can't do it with my own strength. I can't do it alone. The more I make effort to forgive someone who has wronged me, the more Satan fills my mind with every wrong they've ever committed against me. The more I try to find good within them, the more the enemy - the main enemy - fills my heart with the memory of their words or actions against me and the emotion that came with them. Not only does that pain resurface, but the anger and resentment follows right after... And the peace is gone. The joy is gone. And the ability to believe they are a child of God just like me evaporates.

What to do? Jesus said to love my enemies. There must be a reason. In other passages, Jesus tells us to forgive and to continue to forgive as often as it takes basically. And I can't do it. So, what do I do?

Philippians 4:13 (New International Version)

13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I remember this verse and the many, many others that remind me I'm not alone in this fight with the devil. I'm not alone when facing the enemy who wants me to maintain a heart of hatred. I'm not alone facing this giant who wants me to see the worst in not only those who've hurt me in the past, but also those who "might" hurt me in the future. And through Christ, I can do all He's asked me to do.

So, I pray. My prayer is basic for my enemies. I have to say it more than once. It's not an instantaneous relief. And then I have to open my heart and mind to what God will reveal.

Father God, give me the grace needed to forgive {insert enemy's name}. Remind me he/she is also your child and you love him/her unconditionally. Reveal to me the brokenness within him/her. Break my heart for his/her bondage by Satan. Teach me how I can shine your light and help him/her return to you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

And you know what? If I do open my heart, and I do accept what He reveals, it works. Suddenly, I don't focus on my pain with regard to the words or actions of the other person. Suddenly, I see they have struggles like I do. They have pain and brokenness like me. Like me, they will never be perfect. I'm reminded they have their own path of pain and torment from the world. I am able to see how God desires to restore them and reconcile with them just like He does me. I see that He is chasing them and searching for them, just as He did with me. And eventually, over time, my heart is broken for their pain and their struggles and God's grace flows through me to them and I can show them love in spite of how they treat me. And when they treat me badly, I can pray for them again for God to convict their heart and reveal to them what they need to give to Him so that He can restore them.

Now, don't misunderstand. This isn't a "magic bullet" prayer that is going to change your enemy to become something you want them to become. No one can change another person. Only God can change hearts. We can be His tools. We can shine His light. We can be His example; His hands and feet. But it is not us who performs the heart surgery. It is God, and God along with their desire for His healing.

This is a prayer that changes your heart to accept what God wants you to see. This is a prayer that allows you to accept grace for someone you may not otherwise be able to bless with grace at all.

And don't think by this I mean you'll become the best of friends and you'll be hanging out at each others' homes watching movies and enjoying laughs. It can happen, but isn't an automatic thing. And may not even be the intention.

However, your heart will be free of the bondage of hatred. Your mind will have one less thing Satan can hold over you. When those memories are flooded into your mind as Satan attempts to steal your joy by making you relive that pain, you won't view it the same. Instead of feeling the anger and the pain, you'll feel compassion toward the one who is broken. Satan will no longer be able to steal joy and peace from you through this person who hurt you. You will find healing in your forgiveness and grace. Even if you are never best friends, you will be free. And you never know, you're prayers for the one who hurt you might be the ones that lead the person back to the Father; or to the Father for the first time.

Live blessed, bless others!!