Sometimes, through the course of trying to make a difficult decision, sifting through the mess of our minds, or as a result of an event in our lives we find ourselves seeking reassurance. We find ourselves needing to hear that everything will work out, everything is going to be okay, the out-of-control chaos that is surrounding us is going to calm and life will once again become normal.
Acknowledgement. Acceptance. Approval. Basic emotional needs we all have. The amount of nurturing needed seems to be more fluid for most and dependent upon circumstances. For others, the need seems constant. Where do we go to get these needs met?
In my own life, I've sought fulfillment from my partner, friends, colleagues, fellowship from church, Pastoral staff, etc. I've witnessed others using these same types of people among other things. Sometimes, people turn to unhealthy means - one night stands, drugs, alcohol - these become weapons against vulnerability. They are used to mask the need and often lead to destruction.
In truth, there really is only One we need to seek during these times. Yes, people are here to help us navigate. But our reliance shouldn't come from them. For it is not other people we should expect to prop us when we are weak. God has all of the answers we will ever need. And the Holy Spirit is with us to help guide us. In our moments of vulnerability, we should seek Him.
Joshua 1:6 (New International Version)
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (New International Version)
8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Isaiah 43:1-3 (New International Version)
1 But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze.
3 For I am the LORD, your God,
the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
Please don't misunderstand this message. If you need to hear from your friends, loved ones, etc. that all will be okay, by all means, seek that. God's design is for us to be in fellowship and community with one another.
But don't make them own it. Don't make them own sustaining you. God owns that. And if their reassurances aren't making you feel more at ease, then seek the One who can.
Be blessed!
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Don't Borrow Sorrow
Matthew 6:34 (New International Version)
34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
This particular verse follows illustrations Jesus uses to reveal to us we have no need for worry. He mentions birds and flowers and points out they do not show concern for food or clothing. They simply go about doing the things for which they were created to do.
Mamasan had a saying, "Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow." Now, I don't know the origin. I never asked her. But this verse sure does solidify her statement.
"Each day has enough trouble of its own."
How unbelievably true that is!
I'm not really sure the event or maybe even series of events that occurred in my life to create this particular personality trait, but I really am not a huge fan of surprises. Now, I rather enjoy surprising other people. And I will share in the great celebration of surprising someone else - say at the office with cake! :) But when it's my turn to have a surprise, I don't usually give the reaction expected from the person(s) who set it up.
I like to know what's in front of me. I like it to be calculated, well-planned, extremely predictable, and for good measure, low-risk. Even better if it can be orchestrated at my discretion. In short, I'm a control freak.
News flash to fellow control freaks: It's not a good thing.
I find myself constantly frustrated. And due to my intense anger issues, any emotion other than belly laughter gets expressed through anger. Tired = angry. Hungry = angry. Worried = angry. Hurt = angry. Scared = angry. Frustrated = angry.
Communicating while angry is never received well. It's usually met with defense and opposition - regardless if it's a family member, co-worker, etc. Who likes an angry control freak??
I've been fully aware of my anger issues for years. And contrary to what some may believe, I am a WAY better than I used to be. But it doesn't excuse the behavior. And I continue to work on it. The more I journey with God for healing the root of this anger, the more layers I uncover and the more uncomfortable I am; the more I realize truly how much is outside my control.
What can I control? It's very, very simple. So simple it's scary. And warning to you other control freaks, the sooner you embrace it, truly, I'm sure the shorter the journey and the least amount of damage done.... We can only control ourselves.
For me, this means that each time I try to get someone else to adhere to a standard I've created for me, I will fail if they do not value that standard or are not willing to abide by it. I can explain why it's important to me, but everyone has their own perspective and point-of-view. We all have our own filters we use to see the world. And they are usually built from our past experiences.
I'm learning that I want to reconstruct my filters using different material. I want to allow myself to enjoy the gifts of surprise. I want to be okay not knowing the outcome before the event. I want to learn how to leave yesterday behind, look forward to tomorrow, but truly enjoy today. I want to learn from my past mistakes and do my best not to repeat them. I want to make plans for a good future and have goals to which I'm lunging. But I don't want to forget about today. It is all I'm guaranteed. I have today. I have this moment. That's it.
Worry about yesterday or tomorrow won't allow me to enjoy today. My focus is somewhere my person is not. I am here. I should enjoy now.
One of the not-so-fun things about growth is once you recognize an area that needs modification, you are then responsible to either work through it to improve, or are accountable for the consequences of not working on it.
If I want to build a new filter for life, I need to use material that is solid, proven, timeless. If I want to enjoy today, I have to find a way to remove yesterday and tomorrow from my obsessions. How will I do that?
Promises. God's promises.
This isn't an overnight construction process. Dismantling the old filters will take time and effort. It will require grace and mercy. And I'm sure it's not even something that can be done in my own strength. I will lean heavily upon the One who is strong enough to take it apart, to clean the reusable parts and help construct the new filters. I will continue my journey using teachings from sermons and conferences, personal study, praise and worship music, service and fellowship, and lots of time in prayer.
I want to "get this" now, at age 37; not when I'm 73. I don't want to waste any more days not allowing the emotion that is beneath the anger to be revealed. If I'm hurt, I want to be able to say that I'm hurt without masking it in defensive anger. If I'm scared, I want to be able to say I'm scared. I want to enjoy things as they are and learn from them as they are without being so concerned about the outcome of everything. God's timing is perfect. God's provision is perfect. God's will is perfect. I want to trust Him with every area of my life and know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever He brings before me, it will have a good purpose. And that whatever the enemy brings before me, God can flip it into a good purpose.
I may have to say this every day for some time to come. That's okay. I'm progressing. I'm moving forward. I recognize a fundamental flaw as a result of my experiences, and I'm trusting the Master Designer to make the corrections.
Exodus 16:4 (New International Version)
4 Then the LORD said to Moses, "I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.
Live today.
Be blessed,
34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
This particular verse follows illustrations Jesus uses to reveal to us we have no need for worry. He mentions birds and flowers and points out they do not show concern for food or clothing. They simply go about doing the things for which they were created to do.
Mamasan had a saying, "Don't borrow sorrow from tomorrow." Now, I don't know the origin. I never asked her. But this verse sure does solidify her statement.
"Each day has enough trouble of its own."
How unbelievably true that is!
I'm not really sure the event or maybe even series of events that occurred in my life to create this particular personality trait, but I really am not a huge fan of surprises. Now, I rather enjoy surprising other people. And I will share in the great celebration of surprising someone else - say at the office with cake! :) But when it's my turn to have a surprise, I don't usually give the reaction expected from the person(s) who set it up.
I like to know what's in front of me. I like it to be calculated, well-planned, extremely predictable, and for good measure, low-risk. Even better if it can be orchestrated at my discretion. In short, I'm a control freak.
News flash to fellow control freaks: It's not a good thing.
I find myself constantly frustrated. And due to my intense anger issues, any emotion other than belly laughter gets expressed through anger. Tired = angry. Hungry = angry. Worried = angry. Hurt = angry. Scared = angry. Frustrated = angry.
Communicating while angry is never received well. It's usually met with defense and opposition - regardless if it's a family member, co-worker, etc. Who likes an angry control freak??
I've been fully aware of my anger issues for years. And contrary to what some may believe, I am a WAY better than I used to be. But it doesn't excuse the behavior. And I continue to work on it. The more I journey with God for healing the root of this anger, the more layers I uncover and the more uncomfortable I am; the more I realize truly how much is outside my control.
What can I control? It's very, very simple. So simple it's scary. And warning to you other control freaks, the sooner you embrace it, truly, I'm sure the shorter the journey and the least amount of damage done.... We can only control ourselves.
For me, this means that each time I try to get someone else to adhere to a standard I've created for me, I will fail if they do not value that standard or are not willing to abide by it. I can explain why it's important to me, but everyone has their own perspective and point-of-view. We all have our own filters we use to see the world. And they are usually built from our past experiences.
I'm learning that I want to reconstruct my filters using different material. I want to allow myself to enjoy the gifts of surprise. I want to be okay not knowing the outcome before the event. I want to learn how to leave yesterday behind, look forward to tomorrow, but truly enjoy today. I want to learn from my past mistakes and do my best not to repeat them. I want to make plans for a good future and have goals to which I'm lunging. But I don't want to forget about today. It is all I'm guaranteed. I have today. I have this moment. That's it.
Worry about yesterday or tomorrow won't allow me to enjoy today. My focus is somewhere my person is not. I am here. I should enjoy now.
One of the not-so-fun things about growth is once you recognize an area that needs modification, you are then responsible to either work through it to improve, or are accountable for the consequences of not working on it.
If I want to build a new filter for life, I need to use material that is solid, proven, timeless. If I want to enjoy today, I have to find a way to remove yesterday and tomorrow from my obsessions. How will I do that?
Promises. God's promises.
This isn't an overnight construction process. Dismantling the old filters will take time and effort. It will require grace and mercy. And I'm sure it's not even something that can be done in my own strength. I will lean heavily upon the One who is strong enough to take it apart, to clean the reusable parts and help construct the new filters. I will continue my journey using teachings from sermons and conferences, personal study, praise and worship music, service and fellowship, and lots of time in prayer.
I want to "get this" now, at age 37; not when I'm 73. I don't want to waste any more days not allowing the emotion that is beneath the anger to be revealed. If I'm hurt, I want to be able to say that I'm hurt without masking it in defensive anger. If I'm scared, I want to be able to say I'm scared. I want to enjoy things as they are and learn from them as they are without being so concerned about the outcome of everything. God's timing is perfect. God's provision is perfect. God's will is perfect. I want to trust Him with every area of my life and know without a shadow of a doubt that whatever He brings before me, it will have a good purpose. And that whatever the enemy brings before me, God can flip it into a good purpose.
I may have to say this every day for some time to come. That's okay. I'm progressing. I'm moving forward. I recognize a fundamental flaw as a result of my experiences, and I'm trusting the Master Designer to make the corrections.
Exodus 16:4 (New International Version)
4 Then the LORD said to Moses, "I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions.
Live today.
Be blessed,
Friday, August 13, 2010
Lean In
The clock continues to move and the fog continues to hang. Some moments I think I can see beyond the reach of my arm. And the very next moment the density increases and I'm not sure I can see my fingers anymore. Maybe I can see my wrist.
If we flipped the two numbers in today's date, it would be my last day with my current company. On the one hand, that's okay. One chapter closes and the next one begins. That by itself isn't too terribly frightening. But the part about this job that keeps me "clocking in" every day is the paycheck. Is that a confession I like to admit? No. I have several very good friends I've made through this adventure. But the way things are my contribution to the job is limited and sparse. Therefore, my accomplishment feels inadequate and the satisfaction gained from putting forth good effort is nearly non-existent. So, it's a paycheck. I'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong. But it's a paycheck.
I am excited to see what God has in store. I'm excited to see if He thinks I'm ready for another level toward the ultimate goal, or if He feels I still have some more things to learn before that is revealed entirely. I'm cool with whatever He's planning. I've learned He tends to have a few more facts in His notebook. He knows how to read that blueprint, I don't. So, He sees the final outcome and He knows exactly where I'm at along the journey. He knows if I'm on target or not. And if I'm not, He'll get me caught up. I'll trust Him.
He's not let us down so far. There has always been provision. It may not have always been used wisely, but it was there. And we've learned from those days. Here's something that has come to mind recently though. And I've seen some posts by a few of my friends recently that let me know many of us are in this very spot in our journey:
If God plants something in your heart, and He asks you to go through the desert to get to the promise, how far are you willing to go to attain it?
Here's a dilemma I have, I want it today. I may intellectually understand that in order to be able to achieve certain goals, there is preparation that I must do. Most people don't hit a home run the first swing they take at a ball. It takes practice, strength, timing. (I never did it, by the way!)
In order to be effective in what God is stirring within me, I need to be ready for the responsibility. There will be things within me that need tweaked, corrected, improved, matured. Now, depending upon what He's asking you, what it takes for you to be ready may be different than what I'm dealing with right now. But I think we could all agree that during those "desert" times of preparation it can get rough.
With the sand that blows around, the heat, it's dry, water is scarce, shelter seems absent..... But we come out tougher. We come out with more resolve. We come out with greater understanding. We lean in and depend upon God in such a way that the nature of our relationship with Him changes. We begin to learn Who He really is and what kind of a God He really is. We learn of His love and while it's something I don't think a single human is capable of fully comprehending, we may begin to understand the tip of it. And even that is overwhelming. Knowing how much He loves us enables us to find rest in Him during difficult times of our lives for because of His love, we have hope and we know "this too shall pass."
When I'm wandering in the desert, and I feel isolated and alone, I think of several key brothers mentioned in the Bible. There are many, many others. I only have to open it and find them. But the ones that immediately come to mind are Moses, Abraham and Joseph. I speak of them all of the time, and forgive me if I'm redundant here. Each was led from what they knew under various circumstances and led through different trials and tribulations in order for God to prepare them to receive all He had designed. In order to do what He needed them to do, they had to go through what He asked them to endure.
They may not have always been willing. I think several complaints were noted. What was also noted was the fact they did it. They endured it to completion and they accomplished what God intended for His purpose.
I'm not good at waiting. I'm not the most patient person on the planet. But I am getting better at it. I like things to be resolved very quickly. And I'm not much on surprises. I like to see where I'm going before I get there. And I know that is part of the reason I live here. There are actual hills and curves in the roads. I can't see the entire road before me. There are trees. I can't always see what's coming to the intersection from the other side. Folks here take their time. Few rush around to do anything. It's something I needed to live in to begin to absorb it. I needed to slow down and I needed to learn that I don't know everything, nor do I need to know everything in order to be effective.
I'm waiting. I don't do it without complaining. And that, I'm sure, will be addressed by my Father in time. Right now, I think He's more concerned with my patience. And I think He wants me to put my money where my mouth is, so-to-speak, and practice what I preach by leaning into Him during this foggy season of my life; to trust Him and to know that whatever He has planned will be for my good and His glory.
If you are sharing some real estate in the desert with me, if we're in the same neighborhood, I'd like to share a verse or two with you I received today from one of my devotional emails:
Romans 12:12
Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and prayerful always.
Ah! Be patient in trouble. Desert. Testing. Trials. Silence.
One more:
2 Corinthians 5:7 (New International Version)
7We live by faith, not by sight.
I can't see the future with regard to my vocation. I do not know the means God will use to bring provision for my family. But I do know He will do it. I do know that He has a plan and that He will not be late. And I have a choice to make: to listen to the enemy who wants to stir me into worry, anxiety and stress by telling me the number of days left to my last day.... OR I can press into my Father, lean into Him and step out in faith knowing it will all work out in accordance to His will.
Proverbs 3:5 (New International Version)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Stand strong my friends.... Be blessed!
Jeani
If we flipped the two numbers in today's date, it would be my last day with my current company. On the one hand, that's okay. One chapter closes and the next one begins. That by itself isn't too terribly frightening. But the part about this job that keeps me "clocking in" every day is the paycheck. Is that a confession I like to admit? No. I have several very good friends I've made through this adventure. But the way things are my contribution to the job is limited and sparse. Therefore, my accomplishment feels inadequate and the satisfaction gained from putting forth good effort is nearly non-existent. So, it's a paycheck. I'm grateful for that, don't get me wrong. But it's a paycheck.
I am excited to see what God has in store. I'm excited to see if He thinks I'm ready for another level toward the ultimate goal, or if He feels I still have some more things to learn before that is revealed entirely. I'm cool with whatever He's planning. I've learned He tends to have a few more facts in His notebook. He knows how to read that blueprint, I don't. So, He sees the final outcome and He knows exactly where I'm at along the journey. He knows if I'm on target or not. And if I'm not, He'll get me caught up. I'll trust Him.
He's not let us down so far. There has always been provision. It may not have always been used wisely, but it was there. And we've learned from those days. Here's something that has come to mind recently though. And I've seen some posts by a few of my friends recently that let me know many of us are in this very spot in our journey:
If God plants something in your heart, and He asks you to go through the desert to get to the promise, how far are you willing to go to attain it?
Here's a dilemma I have, I want it today. I may intellectually understand that in order to be able to achieve certain goals, there is preparation that I must do. Most people don't hit a home run the first swing they take at a ball. It takes practice, strength, timing. (I never did it, by the way!)
In order to be effective in what God is stirring within me, I need to be ready for the responsibility. There will be things within me that need tweaked, corrected, improved, matured. Now, depending upon what He's asking you, what it takes for you to be ready may be different than what I'm dealing with right now. But I think we could all agree that during those "desert" times of preparation it can get rough.
With the sand that blows around, the heat, it's dry, water is scarce, shelter seems absent..... But we come out tougher. We come out with more resolve. We come out with greater understanding. We lean in and depend upon God in such a way that the nature of our relationship with Him changes. We begin to learn Who He really is and what kind of a God He really is. We learn of His love and while it's something I don't think a single human is capable of fully comprehending, we may begin to understand the tip of it. And even that is overwhelming. Knowing how much He loves us enables us to find rest in Him during difficult times of our lives for because of His love, we have hope and we know "this too shall pass."
When I'm wandering in the desert, and I feel isolated and alone, I think of several key brothers mentioned in the Bible. There are many, many others. I only have to open it and find them. But the ones that immediately come to mind are Moses, Abraham and Joseph. I speak of them all of the time, and forgive me if I'm redundant here. Each was led from what they knew under various circumstances and led through different trials and tribulations in order for God to prepare them to receive all He had designed. In order to do what He needed them to do, they had to go through what He asked them to endure.
They may not have always been willing. I think several complaints were noted. What was also noted was the fact they did it. They endured it to completion and they accomplished what God intended for His purpose.
I'm not good at waiting. I'm not the most patient person on the planet. But I am getting better at it. I like things to be resolved very quickly. And I'm not much on surprises. I like to see where I'm going before I get there. And I know that is part of the reason I live here. There are actual hills and curves in the roads. I can't see the entire road before me. There are trees. I can't always see what's coming to the intersection from the other side. Folks here take their time. Few rush around to do anything. It's something I needed to live in to begin to absorb it. I needed to slow down and I needed to learn that I don't know everything, nor do I need to know everything in order to be effective.
I'm waiting. I don't do it without complaining. And that, I'm sure, will be addressed by my Father in time. Right now, I think He's more concerned with my patience. And I think He wants me to put my money where my mouth is, so-to-speak, and practice what I preach by leaning into Him during this foggy season of my life; to trust Him and to know that whatever He has planned will be for my good and His glory.
If you are sharing some real estate in the desert with me, if we're in the same neighborhood, I'd like to share a verse or two with you I received today from one of my devotional emails:
Romans 12:12
Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and prayerful always.
Ah! Be patient in trouble. Desert. Testing. Trials. Silence.
One more:
2 Corinthians 5:7 (New International Version)
7We live by faith, not by sight.
I can't see the future with regard to my vocation. I do not know the means God will use to bring provision for my family. But I do know He will do it. I do know that He has a plan and that He will not be late. And I have a choice to make: to listen to the enemy who wants to stir me into worry, anxiety and stress by telling me the number of days left to my last day.... OR I can press into my Father, lean into Him and step out in faith knowing it will all work out in accordance to His will.
Proverbs 3:5 (New International Version)
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Stand strong my friends.... Be blessed!
Jeani
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Rewind, Pause, Fast Forward
When the winds of change start blowing, I start reflecting. I tend to look at where I've been, how far I've come, what I'm doing today and what I want to do tomorrow. And, in my past, it's been exactly that: All about me.
As I've journeyed with God these past few years, a true journey to know Him better and give Him more control over my heart and mind versus accepting salvation only, I've learned that life really isn't about what I want to do tomorrow. It's not even about what I want to do today. It's about what God has designed and how I cooperate in order to get there.
My reflections still involve my own decisions. Especially when it comes to flipping through my past. But they also include now the revelations where God's hand was clearly involved. And for most of my life, even though I've been a believer in Christ since childhood, I've not always done that. Perhaps when looking at those major life changes I could see it. But I didn't always acknowledge it, and I didn't always give Him credit.
I've stumbled around, I've fumbled around, I've strayed, I've been legalistic, I've been far from God. But when putting God into the view of my reflection, I see Him everywhere. I see His hands and outstretched arms walking behind me the entire journey. I see those times I nearly fell and He planted me back on my feet. I see those times He had to let me fall completely, but He lifted me out of the pit. And today, I can appreciate why. I needed to remember Who He is. I needed to remember Who gives me strength and purpose. I needed to put Him back into the center rather than on the sidelines.
Many times in life, we rewind our lives and focus on the places we've been. We watch those old movies of our memories not for our own enjoyment, but more so to continue living in the pain either put upon us or caused by us. We punish ourselves because we don't believe and truly embrace that we're forgiven. We think we deserve to wallow around in the ruts of our decisions and because of how we've lived, we're not worthy of anything good. Who could love us?
When we experience good seasons in life, we want to hit that pause button. We become accustom to things. We enjoy the way things are. We don't want to move from that spot. Everything seems fine. We settle.
And during those tough moments, well, who doesn't wish there was a fast forward button? I imagine we've all experienced this. We can see the writing on the wall, we know where something is headed, but for whatever reason the timing isn't right. And we're enduring and struggling. Maybe we're losing sleep or burning energy trying to accelerate the clock. We want next.
There is nothing wrong with remembering your past. As a matter of fact, we all know that history can repeat itself. And if we pretend certain things did not happen, we may fall into the trap of the enemy and continually repeat our mistakes rather than learning from them. To reflect on your past isn't the cause for concern. But in living there you remove the possibility of experiencing and enjoying your present and you can certainly eliminate a future. Neither of which is intended by God. Remember it. But don't live it daily.
When we pause the now we stagnate. Yes, our lives might be good, okay, and fine. We may be enjoying a particular season. But what about where we want to be? There is nothing wrong with enjoying your present. We should. It's all we're guaranteed. But if it's all we consider, we may make decisions without thinking about how it affects tomorrow. Living only in today can set up a messy future. And soon enough, the bill comes and you aren't prepared. Enjoy today, yes, but don't forget to reach for those goals that stretch you. Don't forget to make plans for bigger and better things in your life. Don't forget to continue to push yourself to become who God designed.
The trials have a purpose. And, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Whatever trial you are facing, there is a reason for it. And there is a blessing tucked away within it. Search for those blessings. Dig for that purpose. And above all else, trust in God's plan and His timing. Patience is not a strong point of mine. And I know until I learn to trust Him fully and rely upon Him fully, I will continue to face trials where I may know the final answer, but there are many details in between that I can't see with clarity. I may know where I'm going, but I will have no clue how I'm getting there. There is a purpose when God doesn't fast forward. There is a purpose when God presses pause.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (New International Version)
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Trust Him. You're in capable hands.
As I've journeyed with God these past few years, a true journey to know Him better and give Him more control over my heart and mind versus accepting salvation only, I've learned that life really isn't about what I want to do tomorrow. It's not even about what I want to do today. It's about what God has designed and how I cooperate in order to get there.
My reflections still involve my own decisions. Especially when it comes to flipping through my past. But they also include now the revelations where God's hand was clearly involved. And for most of my life, even though I've been a believer in Christ since childhood, I've not always done that. Perhaps when looking at those major life changes I could see it. But I didn't always acknowledge it, and I didn't always give Him credit.
I've stumbled around, I've fumbled around, I've strayed, I've been legalistic, I've been far from God. But when putting God into the view of my reflection, I see Him everywhere. I see His hands and outstretched arms walking behind me the entire journey. I see those times I nearly fell and He planted me back on my feet. I see those times He had to let me fall completely, but He lifted me out of the pit. And today, I can appreciate why. I needed to remember Who He is. I needed to remember Who gives me strength and purpose. I needed to put Him back into the center rather than on the sidelines.
Many times in life, we rewind our lives and focus on the places we've been. We watch those old movies of our memories not for our own enjoyment, but more so to continue living in the pain either put upon us or caused by us. We punish ourselves because we don't believe and truly embrace that we're forgiven. We think we deserve to wallow around in the ruts of our decisions and because of how we've lived, we're not worthy of anything good. Who could love us?
When we experience good seasons in life, we want to hit that pause button. We become accustom to things. We enjoy the way things are. We don't want to move from that spot. Everything seems fine. We settle.
And during those tough moments, well, who doesn't wish there was a fast forward button? I imagine we've all experienced this. We can see the writing on the wall, we know where something is headed, but for whatever reason the timing isn't right. And we're enduring and struggling. Maybe we're losing sleep or burning energy trying to accelerate the clock. We want next.
There is nothing wrong with remembering your past. As a matter of fact, we all know that history can repeat itself. And if we pretend certain things did not happen, we may fall into the trap of the enemy and continually repeat our mistakes rather than learning from them. To reflect on your past isn't the cause for concern. But in living there you remove the possibility of experiencing and enjoying your present and you can certainly eliminate a future. Neither of which is intended by God. Remember it. But don't live it daily.
When we pause the now we stagnate. Yes, our lives might be good, okay, and fine. We may be enjoying a particular season. But what about where we want to be? There is nothing wrong with enjoying your present. We should. It's all we're guaranteed. But if it's all we consider, we may make decisions without thinking about how it affects tomorrow. Living only in today can set up a messy future. And soon enough, the bill comes and you aren't prepared. Enjoy today, yes, but don't forget to reach for those goals that stretch you. Don't forget to make plans for bigger and better things in your life. Don't forget to continue to push yourself to become who God designed.
The trials have a purpose. And, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Whatever trial you are facing, there is a reason for it. And there is a blessing tucked away within it. Search for those blessings. Dig for that purpose. And above all else, trust in God's plan and His timing. Patience is not a strong point of mine. And I know until I learn to trust Him fully and rely upon Him fully, I will continue to face trials where I may know the final answer, but there are many details in between that I can't see with clarity. I may know where I'm going, but I will have no clue how I'm getting there. There is a purpose when God doesn't fast forward. There is a purpose when God presses pause.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (New International Version)
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Trust Him. You're in capable hands.
Monday, August 2, 2010
ROTTEN THIEF!!
I'll be honest, my last blog was an attempt to share how I had overcome staring at the laundry list of things beyond my control, but quite nicely held in God's hands, causing me frustration lately. I encouraged everyone (including myself) to quit looking at the list. It's a trap of the enemy. All of that was true. All of that is accurate. Here's my confession, I did it again.
I've posted this verse before. I've talked about it. I've separated it into two halves. It seems I needed the reminder, so, once again, I share with whomever God leads toward this blog.
John 10:10 (New International Version)
10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
This is Part I. And it is pretty crucial. It holds something we really need to understand. We have a strong enemy who really does want to destroy us. Not just knock us down, make fun of us, call us names. He really desires our destruction. He wants us to be miserable. And he uses all kinds of tactics, and sometimes even people that we love, to deprive of us Part II of this verse....
John 10:10 (New International Version)
10.... I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I need to do a better job of grasping this part. Jesus came to save us from ourselves, yes. He came to pay a debt we could never pay. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the gate. He is our savior. All very, very true and extremely important. Even a critical focus of our faith. But so much more came with that gift God gave us. And I think many of us focus on the saving part, but not so much on the "life, and have it to the full" part...
Jesus wants us to enjoy our life. Our lives should not be constant struggles and battles and burdens. We need to daily re-focus our energies on what is around us and assess where we are at. And whether or not things can change, accepting responsibility for our part; not trying to do another's part and worse, God's part.
When we are staring at our list of anxieties, we are playing to the enemy's hand. When we are focused on everything in our life that is out-of-control, in a shambles, a wreck, we are unable to see the morning dew, or hear the beautiful song of the birds in the sky, enjoy our children's laughter, embrace responsibility with our jobs and whistle while we work. (Okay, corny, but you get the picture.)
What can we possibly find in our lives that is enjoyable when we allow the enemy to keep sliding our list of worries before us. He changes the font color and size. He may even use a different color paper to distract us. Maybe it comes in the form of another bill, running out of milk, needing gas in the car, a phone call, a doctor's appointment, an email or a text message. Maybe you see a commercial on TV for a restaurant and all that does is remind you that you cannot enjoy a meal there right now; instead of sparking you to thank God there is food in your pantry and that you are not hungry. Maybe you see a trailer for a movie you want to see and you can't just get up off the couch and go because next week the cable bill is due. Do you focus on the fact that you can't enjoy a current movie, or thank God for the provision to be able to afford that DVR and those movie channels?
For every item on your list for which you can recite a worry, I encourage you to run it backwards and identify a blessing. Trouble in your marriage? You're not alone wishing you had someone to hold at night. Trouble with your kids? You're not crying yourself to sleep praying that God will bless you with a bundle of joy of your own. Can only window shop at the mall? At least you are physically able to go and walk around. Some people have lost that ability through various circumstances.
Look at your list and analyze it. If you have situations or circumstances that aren't positive or healthy, examine what is in your control and work on improving it. But don't only look at the problems. Search for solutions and implement the changes necessary to improve life.
Life is to be lived and cherished. Look at this beautiful world around us? We complain about many things, but if we shift our focus and turn our attentions to the magnificent creation we've been asked to tend, and breathe deeply the life God wants us to have, surely we can find something to be happy about?
Dive in, work hard, love hard, play hard. Plan to live and enjoy every moment. Jesus died so you could.
I've posted this verse before. I've talked about it. I've separated it into two halves. It seems I needed the reminder, so, once again, I share with whomever God leads toward this blog.
John 10:10 (New International Version)
10The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
This is Part I. And it is pretty crucial. It holds something we really need to understand. We have a strong enemy who really does want to destroy us. Not just knock us down, make fun of us, call us names. He really desires our destruction. He wants us to be miserable. And he uses all kinds of tactics, and sometimes even people that we love, to deprive of us Part II of this verse....
John 10:10 (New International Version)
10.... I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
I need to do a better job of grasping this part. Jesus came to save us from ourselves, yes. He came to pay a debt we could never pay. He is the way, the truth and the life. He is the gate. He is our savior. All very, very true and extremely important. Even a critical focus of our faith. But so much more came with that gift God gave us. And I think many of us focus on the saving part, but not so much on the "life, and have it to the full" part...
Jesus wants us to enjoy our life. Our lives should not be constant struggles and battles and burdens. We need to daily re-focus our energies on what is around us and assess where we are at. And whether or not things can change, accepting responsibility for our part; not trying to do another's part and worse, God's part.
When we are staring at our list of anxieties, we are playing to the enemy's hand. When we are focused on everything in our life that is out-of-control, in a shambles, a wreck, we are unable to see the morning dew, or hear the beautiful song of the birds in the sky, enjoy our children's laughter, embrace responsibility with our jobs and whistle while we work. (Okay, corny, but you get the picture.)
What can we possibly find in our lives that is enjoyable when we allow the enemy to keep sliding our list of worries before us. He changes the font color and size. He may even use a different color paper to distract us. Maybe it comes in the form of another bill, running out of milk, needing gas in the car, a phone call, a doctor's appointment, an email or a text message. Maybe you see a commercial on TV for a restaurant and all that does is remind you that you cannot enjoy a meal there right now; instead of sparking you to thank God there is food in your pantry and that you are not hungry. Maybe you see a trailer for a movie you want to see and you can't just get up off the couch and go because next week the cable bill is due. Do you focus on the fact that you can't enjoy a current movie, or thank God for the provision to be able to afford that DVR and those movie channels?
For every item on your list for which you can recite a worry, I encourage you to run it backwards and identify a blessing. Trouble in your marriage? You're not alone wishing you had someone to hold at night. Trouble with your kids? You're not crying yourself to sleep praying that God will bless you with a bundle of joy of your own. Can only window shop at the mall? At least you are physically able to go and walk around. Some people have lost that ability through various circumstances.
Look at your list and analyze it. If you have situations or circumstances that aren't positive or healthy, examine what is in your control and work on improving it. But don't only look at the problems. Search for solutions and implement the changes necessary to improve life.
Life is to be lived and cherished. Look at this beautiful world around us? We complain about many things, but if we shift our focus and turn our attentions to the magnificent creation we've been asked to tend, and breathe deeply the life God wants us to have, surely we can find something to be happy about?
Dive in, work hard, love hard, play hard. Plan to live and enjoy every moment. Jesus died so you could.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)