Rewind, Pause, Fast Forward

When the winds of change start blowing, I start reflecting. I tend to look at where I've been, how far I've come, what I'm doing today and what I want to do tomorrow. And, in my past, it's been exactly that: All about me.

As I've journeyed with God these past few years, a true journey to know Him better and give Him more control over my heart and mind versus accepting salvation only, I've learned that life really isn't about what I want to do tomorrow. It's not even about what I want to do today. It's about what God has designed and how I cooperate in order to get there.

My reflections still involve my own decisions. Especially when it comes to flipping through my past. But they also include now the revelations where God's hand was clearly involved. And for most of my life, even though I've been a believer in Christ since childhood, I've not always done that. Perhaps when looking at those major life changes I could see it. But I didn't always acknowledge it, and I didn't always give Him credit.

I've stumbled around, I've fumbled around, I've strayed, I've been legalistic, I've been far from God. But when putting God into the view of my reflection, I see Him everywhere. I see His hands and outstretched arms walking behind me the entire journey. I see those times I nearly fell and He planted me back on my feet. I see those times He had to let me fall completely, but He lifted me out of the pit. And today, I can appreciate why. I needed to remember Who He is. I needed to remember Who gives me strength and purpose. I needed to put Him back into the center rather than on the sidelines.

Many times in life, we rewind our lives and focus on the places we've been. We watch those old movies of our memories not for our own enjoyment, but more so to continue living in the pain either put upon us or caused by us. We punish ourselves because we don't believe and truly embrace that we're forgiven. We think we deserve to wallow around in the ruts of our decisions and because of how we've lived, we're not worthy of anything good. Who could love us?

When we experience good seasons in life, we want to hit that pause button. We become accustom to things. We enjoy the way things are. We don't want to move from that spot. Everything seems fine. We settle.

And during those tough moments, well, who doesn't wish there was a fast forward button? I imagine we've all experienced this. We can see the writing on the wall, we know where something is headed, but for whatever reason the timing isn't right. And we're enduring and struggling. Maybe we're losing sleep or burning energy trying to accelerate the clock. We want next.

There is nothing wrong with remembering your past. As a matter of fact, we all know that history can repeat itself. And if we pretend certain things did not happen, we may fall into the trap of the enemy and continually repeat our mistakes rather than learning from them. To reflect on your past isn't the cause for concern. But in living there you remove the possibility of experiencing and enjoying your present and you can certainly eliminate a future. Neither of which is intended by God. Remember it. But don't live it daily.

When we pause the now we stagnate. Yes, our lives might be good, okay, and fine. We may be enjoying a particular season. But what about where we want to be? There is nothing wrong with enjoying your present. We should. It's all we're guaranteed. But if it's all we consider, we may make decisions without thinking about how it affects tomorrow. Living only in today can set up a messy future. And soon enough, the bill comes and you aren't prepared. Enjoy today, yes, but don't forget to reach for those goals that stretch you. Don't forget to make plans for bigger and better things in your life. Don't forget to continue to push yourself to become who God designed.

The trials have a purpose. And, as they say, every cloud has a silver lining. Whatever trial you are facing, there is a reason for it. And there is a blessing tucked away within it. Search for those blessings. Dig for that purpose. And above all else, trust in God's plan and His timing. Patience is not a strong point of mine. And I know until I learn to trust Him fully and rely upon Him fully, I will continue to face trials where I may know the final answer, but there are many details in between that I can't see with clarity. I may know where I'm going, but I will have no clue how I'm getting there. There is a purpose when God doesn't fast forward. There is a purpose when God presses pause.

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Isaiah 55:8-9 (New International Version)
8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. 9 "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Trust Him. You're in capable hands.