Deuteronomy 31:6Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:8The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."
Joshua 1:5No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Hebrews 13:5Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Feel the breeze?
I've been dealing with a bit of anxiety lately. Happens to the best of us. I'm standing in a fog right now. It's one of those thick fogs where the air can be cut with a knife and your skin feels wet. I can't see much more than the length of my own arm. I have a pending term date coming with my current company and the whispers from the enemy have grown louder than the truth in recent days.
Last week, I didn't take the time I needed each day to fill myself with the promises of our Father. I didn't listen to one sermon podcast until the weekend and I didn't read a single devotional. I spent my time flitting from this to that, refereeing teen bickering, and participating in my own fair share of scuffles. The anxiety grew. The tensions mounted. The sadness became heavy. There is a reason for that.
Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Countering the enemy happens when we fill the spaces in our lives with God's promises and His Word. Speaking the promises in faith unleashes the armies of God. When we don't, we open the door for battles, fatigue. We open the door for doubt and anxiety. We open the door for inner strife which spills over into every aspect of our lives. It affects everyone we touch.
The winds of change are blowing as I stand motionless in this fog. I do not know where God is leading me. I believe I am where I am for a purpose. I believe I'm connected and reconnected with folks for a reason. I trust God will provide as He's demonstrated in the past year He is and will remain faithful. And He is never late.
I have a choice. To enjoy the breeze and the quiet time while God prepares my heart for what's next, or to fight it, to wallow around in worry and anxiety, questioning everything and trying to reason my own future. That breeze is much more peaceful.
Last week, I didn't take the time I needed each day to fill myself with the promises of our Father. I didn't listen to one sermon podcast until the weekend and I didn't read a single devotional. I spent my time flitting from this to that, refereeing teen bickering, and participating in my own fair share of scuffles. The anxiety grew. The tensions mounted. The sadness became heavy. There is a reason for that.
Ephesians 6:12 (New International Version)
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
Countering the enemy happens when we fill the spaces in our lives with God's promises and His Word. Speaking the promises in faith unleashes the armies of God. When we don't, we open the door for battles, fatigue. We open the door for doubt and anxiety. We open the door for inner strife which spills over into every aspect of our lives. It affects everyone we touch.
The winds of change are blowing as I stand motionless in this fog. I do not know where God is leading me. I believe I am where I am for a purpose. I believe I'm connected and reconnected with folks for a reason. I trust God will provide as He's demonstrated in the past year He is and will remain faithful. And He is never late.
I have a choice. To enjoy the breeze and the quiet time while God prepares my heart for what's next, or to fight it, to wallow around in worry and anxiety, questioning everything and trying to reason my own future. That breeze is much more peaceful.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Standing in the gap..... My prayer of hope
This is the only way I know to get this prayer to the masses. As all of my friends and family from Haysville/Wichita area know, our extended family has been praying for at least two folks who've suffered sudden life changing events. And while we may be shaking our heads, and feeling that sting of pain because we don't understand, I wanted to offer this prayer for Troy and Carl, their families and friends and everyone one of us touched by their lives. Let us all remember to stand in the gap in faith and trust the One who is in control.
Father God, we thank you for your plans for our lives. We thank you, God, that you remain on the throne regardless of our circumstances. We thank you, Father, for your promises to never leave or forsake us. We thank you, Lord, that you have numbered the hairs on our heads, and written our names on your palm that we can fully trust and rest in you. Father God, we are leaning into you now, seeking your peace. We are resting at your feet straining to hear your voice. We are praising you for the healing plan you have for the lives of these two men - and the countless others facing challenges with their health. Father, we know you can take all things the enemy designs for harm, and bring Glory to your Name. Lord, I pray that you will strengthen us and give us your endurance for the days ahead. I pray, Father, that you will wrap these families in your loving embrace; that they will feel your warmth and light; that they will know your peace and can believe in your promises. Father, let all of us stand in the gap for each of them. Let our faith be magnified and increased as we raise our hands to praise you for healing and miracles. God, touch these families. Touch their friends. Touch their children. You know what every person needs who has been touched by these men - and those who are suffering. Father, meet each of us where we are and provide us what we need. Thank you, Father, that you are Jehovah Jirah and our provider of all that we need. Thank you, God, for all you do to bring us hope in our lives and let us know that we are safe in your arms; that you have a plan and we can trust you. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Father God, we thank you for your plans for our lives. We thank you, God, that you remain on the throne regardless of our circumstances. We thank you, Father, for your promises to never leave or forsake us. We thank you, Lord, that you have numbered the hairs on our heads, and written our names on your palm that we can fully trust and rest in you. Father God, we are leaning into you now, seeking your peace. We are resting at your feet straining to hear your voice. We are praising you for the healing plan you have for the lives of these two men - and the countless others facing challenges with their health. Father, we know you can take all things the enemy designs for harm, and bring Glory to your Name. Lord, I pray that you will strengthen us and give us your endurance for the days ahead. I pray, Father, that you will wrap these families in your loving embrace; that they will feel your warmth and light; that they will know your peace and can believe in your promises. Father, let all of us stand in the gap for each of them. Let our faith be magnified and increased as we raise our hands to praise you for healing and miracles. God, touch these families. Touch their friends. Touch their children. You know what every person needs who has been touched by these men - and those who are suffering. Father, meet each of us where we are and provide us what we need. Thank you, Father, that you are Jehovah Jirah and our provider of all that we need. Thank you, God, for all you do to bring us hope in our lives and let us know that we are safe in your arms; that you have a plan and we can trust you. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Tough Stuff
Father's day has historically been a rough day for me. My dad wasn't around much when I was a kid. And this day marked the second day in as many months I honored my mother, who played both roles. She didn't have the luxury of saying, "Go ask your father." And I didn't have the luxury of saying, "But daddy said I could."
As a child, when it was brought to my attention that living in our home with my mother operating as both parents wasn't the "norm", an anger began to stir within me. And that anger became rage and that rage became hatred. And the target was my dad.
Soon enough, that anger spilled over into every aspect of my life. Because the thought of my own father walking away from his family and choosing not to raise his kids was so deeply painful to me, I built a fortress around my heart and I allowed nothing but anger to be reflected in my actions. While deep inside I continued to have the same emotional needs as anyone would and as we all do, I shut them out for the world to see. I was always, "fine."
I developed a picture of what my father was. And trust me, it wasn't pretty. Nor was it accurate. But I wouldn't understand that until later. I tagged this new photo to all dads and was fiercely jealous of my friends who had the "normal" life. My grandfathers and my uncles attempted to step in and fill the shoes. But one can only care for another as much as that person will allow. And I didn't allow it.
Today, at the age of 37, I can tell you I didn't grow up with the right picture of my dad. See, he had demons to battle, just like I do. Just like you do. He knew Jesus. And he knew where he'd spend eternity. But I don't suppose my dad ever believed he was worthy of a good life here. He had struggles. And they were strong. And at different times he would fight them. But they would knock him down again.
I can debate back-and-forth with someone who wants to judge my dad. Did he have a responsibility? Yes. Should he have made different choices? Yes. Should he have been there to see me throw that tag high throw from center field to the short-stop for a double-play? Yes. Should he have seen my sister go to prom with her future husband? Yes. Should he have walked her down the aisle? Yes.
But let me ask you this, by judging him, as I did my entire life, and by focusing on what he should have been doing, what do we miss? Why didn't he do what he should have? What is broken inside of him? Why is he in such pain and self-loathing that he doesn't think he deserves the love of his soul mate, the admiration of his children, the sharing with his family? Why didn't my dad think he was worthy of a good, solid, life full of love?
I'll never know. He passed away February 13, 2009, after a battle with cancer. I wasn't there when he breathed his last, but I had been visiting a few times during his last two weeks. And I am humbly grateful to God for showing me what He showed me during that time.
Can I conjure the questions I used to justify my judgement against my dad? I listed them didn't I? But you want to know the difference? The emotion and the venom and the hatred that used to accompany them has been erased. It was erased during the last two weeks of my dad's life as I saw him resting in God. I saw him patiently waiting for his time. Knowing it was coming. Sure of where he was going. It was erased as I watched the twinkle in his eye while he held my mother's hand. It was erased with the wink and the smile he gave me as I helped him sip his Dr. Pepper. And it was erased when I told my daddy, "I love you," and he replied, "Love you too, hon."
God is not broken. God doesn't battle hidden heartache. God doesn't have to overcome trials and temptations. God doesn't leave your side. Ever. God doesn't forget to call. He is never late. He is a provider. He is the giver of life. Your name is written on the palm of His hand. You belong to Him. He calls you friend. You are His son or His daughter. He is for you in every battle you face. He sacrificed His Son for you so that you could spend eternity with Him. He calls you by name. He's numbered the hairs on your head. He keeps your tears. You are His. He has chosen you. He has a plan for your life.
God isn't like my daddy was. But God loved my daddy just like He loves me. And God never left my daddy. Even when my daddy strayed, God didn't abandon him. God won't abandon you. He seeks you. He calls to you. He stands at the door and knocks.
Regardless of the brokenness you have, the pains you've endured, the injustice you have suffered, the wrong choices, the bad decisions, the self-destruction.... Regardless of all of that, God loves you and wants you. Lean into Him. Feel His strong arms wrap around you. Breathe out all of the things of your past and inhale the beautiful plans God has for your future. Allow Him to restore you, to refresh you, to make you a new creation. He loves you.
Father God, thank you for ordering me to spend those evenings with my father during his last two weeks. Forgive me for not spending more time. As I now clearly see what you wanted to show me. Father, forgive me that I compared you to my dad's mistakes. Forgive me that I spent many years of my life with you on the edge. Forgive me for not trusting you. Lord, I know there are others like me. I know there are men and women, even children today, who don't have the right understanding of Who you are because they compare you to their dad's mistakes. Find a way to show them, God, that you are different. Find a way to bring them the ability to understand, Father, that you are the example of love, for you are love. Strengthen them as they endure imperfection. For those daddy's God who don't know how to be a daddy, captivate them God, and bring them into you. Breathe your life into them. Help them learn love. Help them beat their demons. Help them understand responsibility and walk with them step for step as they begin life anew. Thank you, Father, for the men who do get it. Thank you for their example. Thank you for their protection. Thank you for their endurance. Surround us today, God, with your warmth and love. And to you, Father, we say, "Happy Father's Day." In Jesus' name, Amen!
As a child, when it was brought to my attention that living in our home with my mother operating as both parents wasn't the "norm", an anger began to stir within me. And that anger became rage and that rage became hatred. And the target was my dad.
Soon enough, that anger spilled over into every aspect of my life. Because the thought of my own father walking away from his family and choosing not to raise his kids was so deeply painful to me, I built a fortress around my heart and I allowed nothing but anger to be reflected in my actions. While deep inside I continued to have the same emotional needs as anyone would and as we all do, I shut them out for the world to see. I was always, "fine."
I developed a picture of what my father was. And trust me, it wasn't pretty. Nor was it accurate. But I wouldn't understand that until later. I tagged this new photo to all dads and was fiercely jealous of my friends who had the "normal" life. My grandfathers and my uncles attempted to step in and fill the shoes. But one can only care for another as much as that person will allow. And I didn't allow it.
Today, at the age of 37, I can tell you I didn't grow up with the right picture of my dad. See, he had demons to battle, just like I do. Just like you do. He knew Jesus. And he knew where he'd spend eternity. But I don't suppose my dad ever believed he was worthy of a good life here. He had struggles. And they were strong. And at different times he would fight them. But they would knock him down again.
I can debate back-and-forth with someone who wants to judge my dad. Did he have a responsibility? Yes. Should he have made different choices? Yes. Should he have been there to see me throw that tag high throw from center field to the short-stop for a double-play? Yes. Should he have seen my sister go to prom with her future husband? Yes. Should he have walked her down the aisle? Yes.
But let me ask you this, by judging him, as I did my entire life, and by focusing on what he should have been doing, what do we miss? Why didn't he do what he should have? What is broken inside of him? Why is he in such pain and self-loathing that he doesn't think he deserves the love of his soul mate, the admiration of his children, the sharing with his family? Why didn't my dad think he was worthy of a good, solid, life full of love?
I'll never know. He passed away February 13, 2009, after a battle with cancer. I wasn't there when he breathed his last, but I had been visiting a few times during his last two weeks. And I am humbly grateful to God for showing me what He showed me during that time.
Can I conjure the questions I used to justify my judgement against my dad? I listed them didn't I? But you want to know the difference? The emotion and the venom and the hatred that used to accompany them has been erased. It was erased during the last two weeks of my dad's life as I saw him resting in God. I saw him patiently waiting for his time. Knowing it was coming. Sure of where he was going. It was erased as I watched the twinkle in his eye while he held my mother's hand. It was erased with the wink and the smile he gave me as I helped him sip his Dr. Pepper. And it was erased when I told my daddy, "I love you," and he replied, "Love you too, hon."
God is not broken. God doesn't battle hidden heartache. God doesn't have to overcome trials and temptations. God doesn't leave your side. Ever. God doesn't forget to call. He is never late. He is a provider. He is the giver of life. Your name is written on the palm of His hand. You belong to Him. He calls you friend. You are His son or His daughter. He is for you in every battle you face. He sacrificed His Son for you so that you could spend eternity with Him. He calls you by name. He's numbered the hairs on your head. He keeps your tears. You are His. He has chosen you. He has a plan for your life.
God isn't like my daddy was. But God loved my daddy just like He loves me. And God never left my daddy. Even when my daddy strayed, God didn't abandon him. God won't abandon you. He seeks you. He calls to you. He stands at the door and knocks.
Regardless of the brokenness you have, the pains you've endured, the injustice you have suffered, the wrong choices, the bad decisions, the self-destruction.... Regardless of all of that, God loves you and wants you. Lean into Him. Feel His strong arms wrap around you. Breathe out all of the things of your past and inhale the beautiful plans God has for your future. Allow Him to restore you, to refresh you, to make you a new creation. He loves you.
Father God, thank you for ordering me to spend those evenings with my father during his last two weeks. Forgive me for not spending more time. As I now clearly see what you wanted to show me. Father, forgive me that I compared you to my dad's mistakes. Forgive me that I spent many years of my life with you on the edge. Forgive me for not trusting you. Lord, I know there are others like me. I know there are men and women, even children today, who don't have the right understanding of Who you are because they compare you to their dad's mistakes. Find a way to show them, God, that you are different. Find a way to bring them the ability to understand, Father, that you are the example of love, for you are love. Strengthen them as they endure imperfection. For those daddy's God who don't know how to be a daddy, captivate them God, and bring them into you. Breathe your life into them. Help them learn love. Help them beat their demons. Help them understand responsibility and walk with them step for step as they begin life anew. Thank you, Father, for the men who do get it. Thank you for their example. Thank you for their protection. Thank you for their endurance. Surround us today, God, with your warmth and love. And to you, Father, we say, "Happy Father's Day." In Jesus' name, Amen!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Where's my cape??
When I was a little kid, I (like most kids) figured out how my actions could cause others to smile. I could be cute or funny and another person's face would light up. As I got older, I discovered the witty vein that sprints through our family and suddenly found the need to be a comedian. Entertaining other people and helping lighten a mood is one thing; and there is nothing wrong with bringing other people joy. Somewhere in my childhood, though, I crossed a line.
I assumed ownership of other people's emotions. I tagged myself with the responsibility of making other people happy. I began to believe the lie that their response to my humor was my purpose. And soon enough, I expanded my operation. I not only owned people's laughs and smiles, I owned their growth and maturity. And the success of their growth, their responsibility, them "getting it" was a direct correlation to my worth and value. If others couldn't be happy, whole, all they were designed to be - I was less than what I was designed to be. I had failed.
I operated out of this mode for many, many years. And with each passing year, each new relationship, I built an enterprise. And the size of the enterprise I owned was massive. And it was very, very heavy. And word got out that I would take ownership of things others totally owned. And that I would carry not only their load, but them. I would do for them things they could not do for themselves. In truth, my dynasty was so massive, I would do for them things they would not do for themselves. And the weight of the world was upon me. And I was Superman.
I did pretty well for a while. I "sucked it up" as things became increasingly difficult. My stress level was through the roof and becoming more difficult to hide. I'd always battled anger as well. The vast majority of my life I was very angry. And that became a simple pattern and knee-jerk response to any attempt at any emotion. If I was scared, you saw anger. If I was sad, you saw anger. If I was happy, many times you would even see anger instead of laughter; or at least it would be intermixed.
I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating properly. There was always something spinning through my mind. Something I was worried about. Something I was trying to figure out how to fix for someone else; even things for myself. My life felt out of control. My responsibilities for everyone else's happiness and peace in their life was more than I could handle. I had too many irons in the fire. There were too many people I was trying to prop up. I was suffocating.
In the fall of 2005, I crashed. I'd had enough weight upon me that I couldn't do it anymore. Now, before anyone attempts to point fingers at others, and before anyone attempts to criticize or judge anyone else that was in my life when this occurred, let me make something very, very clear: I am the one who CHOSE to own what other people should have owned. I am the one who "bought" their rights and took control of the things that were out of control for them. It was my decision. And I was wrong. On every count.
In the fall of 2006, I found myself unemployed and floundering for a light at the end of the tunnel, a light of the ship coming to rescue me. Nothing was as it should be. I knew only chaos. All of my relationships with friends, family, even my partner were caving in. I'd experienced that desert feeling we all endure from time to time many different times up to this point. You know, that feeling when you open your eyes and see nothing but blowing sand and the sun? The vision we all have when we can't find the water. We don't have a map. We're all alone. No other time in my life have I felt more alone than that season. But I wasn't.
Through what I felt was an innocent statement during a conversation about Christ being "the One," I discovered the Word. My statement prompted an extremely passionate instruction to review God's Word and see for myself. Now, understand my position here. I grew up believing in Jesus. I was baptized somewhere around 5 or 6. And during different times in my life I was prayerful and felt the direction of the Holy Spirit. But even through all of that time, which at this point was almost 30 years, I'd never actually read much of the Bible for myself. I'd certainly never studied it. So, at this urgent direction, I began studying.
It was exactly what I needed. And I soon discovered the promises God has given and the hunger that comes from studying the Bible. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. And the more I prayed. And the more I wanted to be in church. And over the years since that fateful night in December 2006, I've come to live to talk about God's promises. Read these blogs. What is the main topic? Strike up a conversation with me on facebook? I guarantee you at some point the conversation will turn to God.
It isn't something I do on a conscious level. It's just a burning I have inside. It's something that has become natural. I don't mean to offend anyone. But if I say to you, "Praise God!" I mean it!! If I say to you, "Our Father is on the throne and has a plan for your life." I mean it! It's what I say to myself and it's what I believe. God is that light at the end of the tunnel. He's the ship when your being tossed by the waves who will rescue you. He is that pool of clear, refreshing water when you're stranded in the desert sun.
What does this have to do with Superman? All of my life, God cautioned me about my role and responsibility in the lives of others. Influence? Yes. By living as I "preach." Love? Yes. As best to unconditionally as I can (which has been a lifelong struggle - judgement can be another blog.) Act with compassion? Offer grace? Shine His light? Yes. Yes. And yes. Do for others what they cannot or will not do for themselves? NO!!!
Can I change someone? No. Can I make them see what they need to do for their lives to become happy? Not really. There is the illusion that we can. But if we're listening to the voice of God, and we see their struggle, and we sit down and let God stand up inside of us, it isn't our words they really hear. It is God's words. He gives them what He knows they are ready to handle - if we follow His direction. Sure, I can see something in someone and spout off because I'm irritated or annoyed or I've grown weary of their trek around the same mountain for the 200th time. But if God has not softened their heart to hear that, it's futile. And it's worse when they won't let Him. It's not my timing. It's God's.
Can I fix someone? No. God is the One who heals. Not me. He may provide for me skills, talents, or means to gain knowledge and He may choose to use these gifts in me He's given to reach the broken through me, but at the end of the day, the healing comes from Him.
Point of interest: I've known this for some time. Unwinding the behavior is quite a bit slower than acknowledging the needed change. And I'll be honest with you, it's extremely difficult to return the rights of responsibility to those who really own them.
But I'm determined to persevere. I'm determined to push through and get it into my flesh and my soul that by the grace of God He uses me as a willing tool to shine His light onto others. It is by the grace of God people cross my path He will have me touch. His will. His timing. His job. God. Glory to the Father! And may He do whatever is necessary throughout my life to keep me humble. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Do I believe God wants to use me in a greater way? You bet I do!! I feel that is evident. Do I think He can promote me to that next level if I don't let Him "fix" me in this area? No way! I will find myself curled in a fetal position because I took the Superman cape out of the closet again and I'm trying to do for others what they need to do for themselves. It's not going to be an overnight change. And I can assure you, it will be trying and very painful at times. But it is necessary for me to become the woman God has called me to be and do the thing He's calling me to do.
Be blessed my friends, and be courageous to let God do in you the thing He needs to do so you can do what He's asking you to do! :)
HABAKKUK 3:18 NIV
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
2 Corinthians 10:4 (New International Version)
4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
Hebrews 10:35-36: So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
I assumed ownership of other people's emotions. I tagged myself with the responsibility of making other people happy. I began to believe the lie that their response to my humor was my purpose. And soon enough, I expanded my operation. I not only owned people's laughs and smiles, I owned their growth and maturity. And the success of their growth, their responsibility, them "getting it" was a direct correlation to my worth and value. If others couldn't be happy, whole, all they were designed to be - I was less than what I was designed to be. I had failed.
I operated out of this mode for many, many years. And with each passing year, each new relationship, I built an enterprise. And the size of the enterprise I owned was massive. And it was very, very heavy. And word got out that I would take ownership of things others totally owned. And that I would carry not only their load, but them. I would do for them things they could not do for themselves. In truth, my dynasty was so massive, I would do for them things they would not do for themselves. And the weight of the world was upon me. And I was Superman.
I did pretty well for a while. I "sucked it up" as things became increasingly difficult. My stress level was through the roof and becoming more difficult to hide. I'd always battled anger as well. The vast majority of my life I was very angry. And that became a simple pattern and knee-jerk response to any attempt at any emotion. If I was scared, you saw anger. If I was sad, you saw anger. If I was happy, many times you would even see anger instead of laughter; or at least it would be intermixed.
I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating properly. There was always something spinning through my mind. Something I was worried about. Something I was trying to figure out how to fix for someone else; even things for myself. My life felt out of control. My responsibilities for everyone else's happiness and peace in their life was more than I could handle. I had too many irons in the fire. There were too many people I was trying to prop up. I was suffocating.
In the fall of 2005, I crashed. I'd had enough weight upon me that I couldn't do it anymore. Now, before anyone attempts to point fingers at others, and before anyone attempts to criticize or judge anyone else that was in my life when this occurred, let me make something very, very clear: I am the one who CHOSE to own what other people should have owned. I am the one who "bought" their rights and took control of the things that were out of control for them. It was my decision. And I was wrong. On every count.
In the fall of 2006, I found myself unemployed and floundering for a light at the end of the tunnel, a light of the ship coming to rescue me. Nothing was as it should be. I knew only chaos. All of my relationships with friends, family, even my partner were caving in. I'd experienced that desert feeling we all endure from time to time many different times up to this point. You know, that feeling when you open your eyes and see nothing but blowing sand and the sun? The vision we all have when we can't find the water. We don't have a map. We're all alone. No other time in my life have I felt more alone than that season. But I wasn't.
Through what I felt was an innocent statement during a conversation about Christ being "the One," I discovered the Word. My statement prompted an extremely passionate instruction to review God's Word and see for myself. Now, understand my position here. I grew up believing in Jesus. I was baptized somewhere around 5 or 6. And during different times in my life I was prayerful and felt the direction of the Holy Spirit. But even through all of that time, which at this point was almost 30 years, I'd never actually read much of the Bible for myself. I'd certainly never studied it. So, at this urgent direction, I began studying.
It was exactly what I needed. And I soon discovered the promises God has given and the hunger that comes from studying the Bible. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. And the more I prayed. And the more I wanted to be in church. And over the years since that fateful night in December 2006, I've come to live to talk about God's promises. Read these blogs. What is the main topic? Strike up a conversation with me on facebook? I guarantee you at some point the conversation will turn to God.
It isn't something I do on a conscious level. It's just a burning I have inside. It's something that has become natural. I don't mean to offend anyone. But if I say to you, "Praise God!" I mean it!! If I say to you, "Our Father is on the throne and has a plan for your life." I mean it! It's what I say to myself and it's what I believe. God is that light at the end of the tunnel. He's the ship when your being tossed by the waves who will rescue you. He is that pool of clear, refreshing water when you're stranded in the desert sun.
What does this have to do with Superman? All of my life, God cautioned me about my role and responsibility in the lives of others. Influence? Yes. By living as I "preach." Love? Yes. As best to unconditionally as I can (which has been a lifelong struggle - judgement can be another blog.) Act with compassion? Offer grace? Shine His light? Yes. Yes. And yes. Do for others what they cannot or will not do for themselves? NO!!!
Can I change someone? No. Can I make them see what they need to do for their lives to become happy? Not really. There is the illusion that we can. But if we're listening to the voice of God, and we see their struggle, and we sit down and let God stand up inside of us, it isn't our words they really hear. It is God's words. He gives them what He knows they are ready to handle - if we follow His direction. Sure, I can see something in someone and spout off because I'm irritated or annoyed or I've grown weary of their trek around the same mountain for the 200th time. But if God has not softened their heart to hear that, it's futile. And it's worse when they won't let Him. It's not my timing. It's God's.
Can I fix someone? No. God is the One who heals. Not me. He may provide for me skills, talents, or means to gain knowledge and He may choose to use these gifts in me He's given to reach the broken through me, but at the end of the day, the healing comes from Him.
Point of interest: I've known this for some time. Unwinding the behavior is quite a bit slower than acknowledging the needed change. And I'll be honest with you, it's extremely difficult to return the rights of responsibility to those who really own them.
But I'm determined to persevere. I'm determined to push through and get it into my flesh and my soul that by the grace of God He uses me as a willing tool to shine His light onto others. It is by the grace of God people cross my path He will have me touch. His will. His timing. His job. God. Glory to the Father! And may He do whatever is necessary throughout my life to keep me humble. In Jesus' name, Amen!
Do I believe God wants to use me in a greater way? You bet I do!! I feel that is evident. Do I think He can promote me to that next level if I don't let Him "fix" me in this area? No way! I will find myself curled in a fetal position because I took the Superman cape out of the closet again and I'm trying to do for others what they need to do for themselves. It's not going to be an overnight change. And I can assure you, it will be trying and very painful at times. But it is necessary for me to become the woman God has called me to be and do the thing He's calling me to do.
Be blessed my friends, and be courageous to let God do in you the thing He needs to do so you can do what He's asking you to do! :)
HABAKKUK 3:18 NIV
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
2 Corinthians 10:4 (New International Version)
4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
Hebrews 10:35-36: So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Today I Choose....
God has really been working with me about understanding the power in choice. Events will occur. Other's will have agendas, ideas, make decisions, enact their plans that may not fit mine.... But I still have power in that situation when I rest in God and give Him my will. It is the power to choose.
I can choose not to remain angry. I may not be able to control the fact that anger visits me. And I may be completely justified in getting angry. But I don't have to stay there.
I can choose not to be downtrodden. I can choose not to live defeated. Many things can happen in our lives that simply wear us out and steal our joy. We can lose loved ones. We can lose friendships. We can lose pets, jobs, financial security. And all of these things are seen in our society as acceptable reasons for depression. And, truly, there is an appropriate grieving period through all of them. However, it is my choice as to how much I focus on loss and injustices I endure. My season of sadness or depression may be orchestrated by God and may have a divine purpose and intent. And I may not be able to "snap out of it" when others would like. But I do control what I bring to the forefront of my mind. And I do control whether or not I speak God's promises daily to battle the enemy who wants me defeated. It is up to me to live in the heartache, or plow through it. God will strengthen me for my choice. The timing isn't mine. But the choice is.
I can choose not to believe the lies. Satan will forever be sitting upon my shoulder, whispering in my ear how I'm not worthy, God can't use me, reminding me of my sins and my mistakes. He will forever use people I dearly love to offend me and keep me stirred up. He will use strangers just as much. And he will try to knock me off course, to steer me away from God's plan. He will try to convince me I am nothing and God cannot love me. I'm worthless. I'm trash. I'm scum. I have the choice to agree with him, or agree with God. Because God says I'm His. God says my name is written on the palm of His hand. God says He's numbered the hairs on my head. God says nothing can separate me from His love. Nothing. God says He loved me so much that He couldn't bear eternal separation and He sent His Son to die for me. God says my debt is paid in full. God says He's chosen me. Think I like what God has to say more than the enemy.
I can choose to shine the light and share the love, or not. I can choose to keep the promises to myself, or take that step in faith and vulnerability and be open about my relationship with God. I can be vulnerable about my struggles and my victories through Him. I can share my strength, my hope and the love God grants me.
I can choose His grace. I can choose His peace. I can choose His blessings. God's grace is free of charge to us. But it was costly to Him. Christ took the beating and died the death He didn't deserve. And He didn't want to do it. Not His flesh. The Bible tells us the night He was betrayed by Judas, Jesus was trembling with anxiety and sweaty drops of blood fell from His brow while He was praying for God to make another way. But He said something profound and made a choice to follow His statement: Thy will be done. When God did not bring another way, Jesus did not make another way. He followed God's way. The sacrifice God made, the sacrifice Jesus made, was costly. But the love was such it had to be done. And they offer it to each of us. Free of charge. Debt cancellation. And then, an invitation for a personal relationship with them and to share their love with those who don't know them. To help bolster the faith of those who do. To shine that light and rest in their grace, peace and mercy. To embrace all they offer, and then share it with others.
This is the path I choose. I choose not to live defeated. I choose not to listen to the lies. I choose to focus on the goodness of the Father. I choose to marvel at His ways and amazing things He does in my life. I choose to look at the portion of the picture I can see and look back at the road and see how all of the paths lead up to where I am now. And I choose to give the Father all of the glory and all of the praise for every good thing He equips me to do. I choose not to believe I am great, but He is great. I choose to believe He has chosen me and will use me as long as I allow Him to do so. I choose to be obedient and to follow His voice. I choose to share this journey with you.
What choices do you need to make today?
Live blessed! Be a blessing!!
I can choose not to remain angry. I may not be able to control the fact that anger visits me. And I may be completely justified in getting angry. But I don't have to stay there.
I can choose not to be downtrodden. I can choose not to live defeated. Many things can happen in our lives that simply wear us out and steal our joy. We can lose loved ones. We can lose friendships. We can lose pets, jobs, financial security. And all of these things are seen in our society as acceptable reasons for depression. And, truly, there is an appropriate grieving period through all of them. However, it is my choice as to how much I focus on loss and injustices I endure. My season of sadness or depression may be orchestrated by God and may have a divine purpose and intent. And I may not be able to "snap out of it" when others would like. But I do control what I bring to the forefront of my mind. And I do control whether or not I speak God's promises daily to battle the enemy who wants me defeated. It is up to me to live in the heartache, or plow through it. God will strengthen me for my choice. The timing isn't mine. But the choice is.
I can choose not to believe the lies. Satan will forever be sitting upon my shoulder, whispering in my ear how I'm not worthy, God can't use me, reminding me of my sins and my mistakes. He will forever use people I dearly love to offend me and keep me stirred up. He will use strangers just as much. And he will try to knock me off course, to steer me away from God's plan. He will try to convince me I am nothing and God cannot love me. I'm worthless. I'm trash. I'm scum. I have the choice to agree with him, or agree with God. Because God says I'm His. God says my name is written on the palm of His hand. God says He's numbered the hairs on my head. God says nothing can separate me from His love. Nothing. God says He loved me so much that He couldn't bear eternal separation and He sent His Son to die for me. God says my debt is paid in full. God says He's chosen me. Think I like what God has to say more than the enemy.
I can choose to shine the light and share the love, or not. I can choose to keep the promises to myself, or take that step in faith and vulnerability and be open about my relationship with God. I can be vulnerable about my struggles and my victories through Him. I can share my strength, my hope and the love God grants me.
I can choose His grace. I can choose His peace. I can choose His blessings. God's grace is free of charge to us. But it was costly to Him. Christ took the beating and died the death He didn't deserve. And He didn't want to do it. Not His flesh. The Bible tells us the night He was betrayed by Judas, Jesus was trembling with anxiety and sweaty drops of blood fell from His brow while He was praying for God to make another way. But He said something profound and made a choice to follow His statement: Thy will be done. When God did not bring another way, Jesus did not make another way. He followed God's way. The sacrifice God made, the sacrifice Jesus made, was costly. But the love was such it had to be done. And they offer it to each of us. Free of charge. Debt cancellation. And then, an invitation for a personal relationship with them and to share their love with those who don't know them. To help bolster the faith of those who do. To shine that light and rest in their grace, peace and mercy. To embrace all they offer, and then share it with others.
This is the path I choose. I choose not to live defeated. I choose not to listen to the lies. I choose to focus on the goodness of the Father. I choose to marvel at His ways and amazing things He does in my life. I choose to look at the portion of the picture I can see and look back at the road and see how all of the paths lead up to where I am now. And I choose to give the Father all of the glory and all of the praise for every good thing He equips me to do. I choose not to believe I am great, but He is great. I choose to believe He has chosen me and will use me as long as I allow Him to do so. I choose to be obedient and to follow His voice. I choose to share this journey with you.
What choices do you need to make today?
Live blessed! Be a blessing!!
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Vindication!
Don't you hate injustice? Don't you hate it when you know a good person who just cannot seem to get a break? You look at their life and one thing after another seems to happen. Just over and over, obstacle after obstacle. "The Man" is always keeping them down!
How about when that is you? You have a co-worker who does nothing but socialize all day while you carry the load. You have a teammate that monopolizes the coaches time, appearing to be seeking additional coaching, when all they really want is that coach's favor. Brown-nosers. Boot-lickers. Rump-kissers. You know who I'm talking about. They front their expertise. They "show off" and then have you do the work. And these folks are everywhere. They are in school as we're growing up. They are in college. They are in our first jobs. They are in our churches. They are in the neighborhood associations. Everywhere you go, any time you want to become involved, you will encounter them either directly or you will witness unfair treatment - injustice.
I often look at the world in which we live and find myself asking the same kinds of questions those who oppose Christianity ask: "Where is God?" When the baby is lying in NICU because her mother's boyfriend abused her and now they are discussing pulling the plug. When the woman who was healthy her entire life receives the Stage IV diagnosis. When the family who has already lost one child faces that possibility of losing another. When there are families living in poverty even though they truly do want to work and earn their keep. When there are countries who have people living in and sifting through trash dumps. When there are countries who have government leaders who hoard all of the aid collected from around the world, pour it into their palaces, while their people starve to death. When drug makers make drugs to help one ailment, yet it causes another - and another medication is required. When one who says they follow Christ, yet they judge anyone who isn't like them.
I'm sure we could add to the list well into the early morning hours. But this gives us an idea and something to consider for the rest of this blog.
In reading the Bible, during my own self-study, and listening to many credible teachers preach about the different stories within, I've noticed several things. For this blog, I want to focus on one of those.
God used those who suffered injustice.
One of my favorite people in the Bible is Job. Job was an unfortunate soul who suffered at the hand of a bet between God and Satan. Satan was confident he could torment Job to the point Job would pretty much turn from God. God knew differently. And God allowed Satan to run the test with only one condition: Satan could not take Job's life. That poor man suffered unimaginable loss. His family. His possessions. His wealth. His prestige. His relationships with friends and family. His health. Even his own wife encouraged him to curse God and die. But he didn't do it. He didn't understand. But he didn't curse God. He cursed his birth. But not God. Through all of this, God restored Job and blessed him with all that he lost and more.
Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery as they were jealous of his position and the favoritism their father gave him. He endured false accusation of attempted rape when he resisted his master's wife and found himself in prison. Yet, eventually, God restored him. God elevated him to second in command of Egypt. He was positioned to not only save a people, but also his very own family and he was reconciled to his brothers and his father.
David was nothing more than a shepherd boy. The youngest and considered the least in his family. When the prophet came to anoint the next King of Israel as instructed by God, he wasn't even considered for the meeting. He killed a giant everyone feared. The King at the time wanted his life. And he had to flee into hiding. Yet, God elevated him to King.
Jesus was born into a poor family. He didn't even have proper accommodations for His birth. The King wanted Him dead before He even became a boy. He was rejected by His family and the people in His home town. His Jewish leaders sought to have Him killed, and succeeded. Yet the Father resurrected Him. And He sits at the Father's right hand on the throne of Heaven.
Isaiah 61:7-8 (New International Version)
7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
This isn't the only set of scripture God promises to restore us. It isn't the only set of verses where He promises to "set the record straight".
Do you feel like you can't handle another wrong? Do you feel burdened and weak? Do you feel like you never get a break? Do you keep doing the right thing, keep making good decisions, yet continue getting overlooked for every promotion, every job opportunity? Do you feel like Cinderella? Do you feel like Job? Joseph? David? Jesus? Are you beat down and simply over it?
John 16:33 (New International Version)
33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
We are going to experience trouble here. Things aren't always going to be fair. We're going to find ourselves on that short-end of the stick. We're going to draw the short straw. We're going to work 12 hours without a thank you. We're going to do things without any recognition whatsoever. It will happen.
But TAKE HEART!! Jesus has overcome the world! And God is a God of vindication! He is our Redeemer! He is our Provider! He is a God of Restoration!! And your day is coming. If things are getting tougher, it's the enemy wanting you to give up. It's the enemy wanting you to turn away from God. It's the enemy wanting you to forget your calling and forget that God is faithful and that God will redeem you.
Take heart, my friends.... Vindication is around the corner.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
How about when that is you? You have a co-worker who does nothing but socialize all day while you carry the load. You have a teammate that monopolizes the coaches time, appearing to be seeking additional coaching, when all they really want is that coach's favor. Brown-nosers. Boot-lickers. Rump-kissers. You know who I'm talking about. They front their expertise. They "show off" and then have you do the work. And these folks are everywhere. They are in school as we're growing up. They are in college. They are in our first jobs. They are in our churches. They are in the neighborhood associations. Everywhere you go, any time you want to become involved, you will encounter them either directly or you will witness unfair treatment - injustice.
I often look at the world in which we live and find myself asking the same kinds of questions those who oppose Christianity ask: "Where is God?" When the baby is lying in NICU because her mother's boyfriend abused her and now they are discussing pulling the plug. When the woman who was healthy her entire life receives the Stage IV diagnosis. When the family who has already lost one child faces that possibility of losing another. When there are families living in poverty even though they truly do want to work and earn their keep. When there are countries who have people living in and sifting through trash dumps. When there are countries who have government leaders who hoard all of the aid collected from around the world, pour it into their palaces, while their people starve to death. When drug makers make drugs to help one ailment, yet it causes another - and another medication is required. When one who says they follow Christ, yet they judge anyone who isn't like them.
I'm sure we could add to the list well into the early morning hours. But this gives us an idea and something to consider for the rest of this blog.
In reading the Bible, during my own self-study, and listening to many credible teachers preach about the different stories within, I've noticed several things. For this blog, I want to focus on one of those.
God used those who suffered injustice.
One of my favorite people in the Bible is Job. Job was an unfortunate soul who suffered at the hand of a bet between God and Satan. Satan was confident he could torment Job to the point Job would pretty much turn from God. God knew differently. And God allowed Satan to run the test with only one condition: Satan could not take Job's life. That poor man suffered unimaginable loss. His family. His possessions. His wealth. His prestige. His relationships with friends and family. His health. Even his own wife encouraged him to curse God and die. But he didn't do it. He didn't understand. But he didn't curse God. He cursed his birth. But not God. Through all of this, God restored Job and blessed him with all that he lost and more.
Joseph was sold by his brothers into slavery as they were jealous of his position and the favoritism their father gave him. He endured false accusation of attempted rape when he resisted his master's wife and found himself in prison. Yet, eventually, God restored him. God elevated him to second in command of Egypt. He was positioned to not only save a people, but also his very own family and he was reconciled to his brothers and his father.
David was nothing more than a shepherd boy. The youngest and considered the least in his family. When the prophet came to anoint the next King of Israel as instructed by God, he wasn't even considered for the meeting. He killed a giant everyone feared. The King at the time wanted his life. And he had to flee into hiding. Yet, God elevated him to King.
Jesus was born into a poor family. He didn't even have proper accommodations for His birth. The King wanted Him dead before He even became a boy. He was rejected by His family and the people in His home town. His Jewish leaders sought to have Him killed, and succeeded. Yet the Father resurrected Him. And He sits at the Father's right hand on the throne of Heaven.
Isaiah 61:7-8 (New International Version)
7 Instead of their shame
my people will receive a double portion,
and instead of disgrace
they will rejoice in their inheritance;
and so they will inherit a double portion in their land,
and everlasting joy will be theirs.
8 "For I, the LORD, love justice;
I hate robbery and iniquity.
In my faithfulness I will reward them
and make an everlasting covenant with them.
This isn't the only set of scripture God promises to restore us. It isn't the only set of verses where He promises to "set the record straight".
Do you feel like you can't handle another wrong? Do you feel burdened and weak? Do you feel like you never get a break? Do you keep doing the right thing, keep making good decisions, yet continue getting overlooked for every promotion, every job opportunity? Do you feel like Cinderella? Do you feel like Job? Joseph? David? Jesus? Are you beat down and simply over it?
John 16:33 (New International Version)
33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
We are going to experience trouble here. Things aren't always going to be fair. We're going to find ourselves on that short-end of the stick. We're going to draw the short straw. We're going to work 12 hours without a thank you. We're going to do things without any recognition whatsoever. It will happen.
But TAKE HEART!! Jesus has overcome the world! And God is a God of vindication! He is our Redeemer! He is our Provider! He is a God of Restoration!! And your day is coming. If things are getting tougher, it's the enemy wanting you to give up. It's the enemy wanting you to turn away from God. It's the enemy wanting you to forget your calling and forget that God is faithful and that God will redeem you.
Take heart, my friends.... Vindication is around the corner.
Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
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