Sometimes, I think it's a good idea for me to step back, look at things as they are, as they were, and as I want them to be and just get real with myself to see where I am in my growth process. I don't think this self-evaluation is a harmful thing. I think beating yourself up is. I think most of us have an idea of where we want to be and the person we want to become. And I think for those of us who set these lifetime goals we spend way too much time focused on how much farther we need to go, the distance from now to then, and the fact that we thought we'd be farther along by now.
We have to stop doing that.
I also think we spend too much time in our pasts in an unproductive way. The past can so easily poison the future. If we funnel everything through the filter of the past, we don't allow change. We don't allow growth. It's a HUGE challenge not to judge our future by our pasts, but we have to stop. We need to make our view of the past become more retrospective and for gauging purposes only. Allow me to explain my latest revelation.
I have an idea of the type of person I want to be. I have in my mind how I want to respond to Satan's attacks. I have in my mind how I want to respond to the broken way this world operates. I have in my mind the kind of example I want to be to the kids in my life, my co-workers, my friends and family. And when I look at THAT person compared to how I live my daily life, I fall short of that person regularly. If I focused on this I could so easily become frustrated, irritated, downtrodden, and hopeless.
However, if I rewind the clock 20 years, 10 years, even 5 years and pick who I was at any given time in the past, and I put that "me" in my current situation and ask that "me" to respond to my current circumstances, situations, trials, world..... I can smile and quite happily say comparing the current me to the past me there is a world of difference.
"I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be!" This is a phrase Joyce Meyer says regularly in her teachings. And I've been asked by God to really think this through.
Here's another dose of reality: Perfection isn't attainable in this world. Period. I'm not striving for perfection. I won't make it. And I'm not going to put that pressure upon myself. And I'm also not going to allow anyone else to place it upon me either. Progress is my goal. Can I look at the current me and state I have progressed? Most definitely!! And I should stop right there.
But what do we usually do? We usually compare the current me to the wanna be me.... We look at where we are versus how far we must go. And that's depressing. And with regard to our pasts, we look at them and make decisions about our futures. We determine what will happen, based upon what has happened. No wonder we stagnate. No wonder we stall out. No wonder we decide things will never change and that all effort is futile.
This is where the enemy wants us. Stagnate. Stalled. Giving up. Doing nothing. Sitting still - and not the sitting still as in the rest of God. Unproductive. Missing our call from our Father. Not believing in ourselves. Not enjoying our life. Not making a difference. Not shining His light. Existing with no purpose. And believing we're hopeless.
Philippians 4:4-7 (New International Version)
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
This verse appeared today in one of my email devotionals. It's been brought to my attention several times over the course of the past few days. And when that happens, I've trained myself to consider it and what God wants me to embrace more than just glancing at it. I've prayed on this one.
Rejoicing must come regardless of the world around us. Sometimes our circumstances are less than accommodating. Sometimes, to be quite truthful, sometimes life just stinks. Anyone can look at all of the things they don't have, all of the things they want, all of the obstacles they face, all of the things that are wrong in their world and become depressed. That isn't difficult. And it doesn't take much faith.
But a person of faith, a person who has chosen to believe in Christ's life, death and resurrection is asked to go beyond that. We're asked to rejoice. And often times that means to purposely choose to look at not what is wrong in our life, but what is right. And sometimes, all we can find right in our world is that God is on the throne; that Jesus is our vindicator and our redeemer; that this isn't the end of our journey, but the beginning; that our times are in His hands; that we may not understand why we face what we are facing, it may not be fair, it may not even be from our own doing, but we can trust in God for we know He is faithful and that He has a plan. And sometimes, sometimes, looking at that alone will help us stand up.
I'm not where I want to be. But I'm also not where I used to be. I know my Father has a plan. I am choosing to rest in Him. I am choosing to accept His peace and His yoke. I am choosing to stop letting the past poison my future. What should I fear if I truly believe God is in control? Yes, my heart and my emotions may be out of line with this. I will likely still experience pain. I know I will experience troubles and trials; tests of my faith. But I don't need to have any fear. God is in control. He is faithful. And He has promised to keep me safe.
Don't misunderstand me. This doesn't mean I get foolish and put myself in harms way. It simply means that I can trust Him regardless of how things appear or how they feel. I can rely upon Him and believe His voice as it leads me to make choices in this life. And I don't have to fear decisions as they come. I simply must find the solution that brings His peace and makes Him smile. And I know then I'm on the right track.
Be blessed dear friends!
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