"You are not your own."

1 Corinthians 6:19 (NIV)
19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;

I've felt this way many times in my life. That I don't belong to myself. Like, when I was 10 years old and my mother forced me to attend our monthly 4-H meeting against my will. Or the following Sunday, when we all climbed into her truck, argued the entire way to church, listened to the message, and shared our revelations on the way home as a result of the Pastor's teaching. Or the time, as a college student, I didn't want to sit on the bus for hours and hours to travel to a game. Or as an adult, when I didn't want to pay the bills, but preferred to be able to use the money for something fun. Or the time I was gently reminded by the police officer of Lyons, KS that the speed limit through town is 20 MPH, not 40 MPH. With each example, my will was overridden by an external force.

I can only think of one thing we truly own. It isn't even of our own design. But the design of the Father. He gifted it to us. And even it can be influenced for good or for evil: It's our choice.

I choose to be angry or patient.

I choose to speak or remain silent.

I choose to smile or frown.

I choose to pray or curse.

I choose to walk away or dig in my heels.

I choose to embrace God's gifts or to spit in His face.

I choose to use God's gifts or to let them sit idle.

I choose to hear His voice or the noise of this world.

I choose to see things His way or the way of the world.

I choose to study His Promises or believe the enemy's lies.

I choose to root myself in Him or bounce around this world searching for purpose.

I choose to be content and grateful for what I have or to be discontent and focused on what I lack.

I choose to be humble or to be proud.

I choose to glorify God or to glorify myself.

I choose His wisdom or my judgment.

I choose to love or to hate.

I choose to increase in Him or shrink on my own.

I choose to accept Christ or to reject Him.

I choose to follow Him or walk away from Him.

Hm. Seems like a pretty long list. And I'm sure I can add to it. And some could argue that the choice is a pretty powerful thing. Perhaps in the context of this world it would seem. I know the choice has eternal consequences based upon my study.

Here's what I also know from only 37 years of living (and mind you, there have been difficult times, and difficult decisions to be made, but I know I haven't had "the worst life"..... Granted, valuable lessons nevertheless.)

When I "do" this life without God as my center, without the example of Christ in the forefront of my mind and every decision I make, I suck at it. I mean, I'm a tragic failure. Things get messy. I find myself struggling to breathe. Darkness surrounds me. My "happy" emotions are dulled. I feel very flat. I'm trying desperately to please everyone, to make everyone happy, but I'm not happy myself. I need approval. But I can't seem to please anyone. And this is in one phase. Soon enough, I find myself in even worse shape. The air feels stagnant. It's suffocating. Joy is but a dream. Happiness is non-existent. I feel pain. I feel angry. I can't tell you the reason. But I do. And it comes out of me freely. Spewing like venom. I hate everyone. No one understands me. No one "gets it." And the next thing you know, I feel trapped and hopeless. There is no way out. Life will never get better. It will always be fruitless and futile. I have succumbed to the darkness.

Ugly picture, huh?

BUT when I "do" life with God as my center, and Christ as my measuring stick rather than anything of this world - fashion, success, money, etc., the burden isn't the same. The hope is always present. Even in the rough spots. Even when the storms are raging, the wind is whipping, the waves are towering above me there is a peace at my core and a calm I can always find when I decide to focus upon it. I learn to work on pleasing God first, and when I do this, miraculously, others seem content with me as well. I don't need someone else's approval. I have God's approval. I am accepted by Him. This alone lifts a giant weight! When Christ is my measuring stick, even though I know I'm not perfect and will never be exactly like Him, I feel more happiness inside when I try to be like Him; and I feel more love naturally flowing out. The things that used to make me angry become trivial. I see others differently. I see what's inside, past all of the junk, and remember that God loves them, too; just as much as He loves me. They are unique and special to Him. He longs to know them, to walk with them, to help them navigate this crazy world. They are also broken and hurting like me. I make a bigger effort to share God's love, rather than hording and clinging to every scrap of love I can get. I have God's love. What more do I need? My name is written upon His hand. He's numbered the hairs of my head. He has a plan for my life. I want others to know this. Not about me. But that it applies to them as well! I want to give His love away. And through that very act, more comes at me than I ever dreamed.

God's economy is the economy of reverse.

Luke 6:38
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

Bless others, and you will be blessed. Is that the reason to bless others? So we get something in return? No. The reason to bless others is because God has blessed us so much and He uses us to reach our brothers and sisters in Christ to further His Kingdom. The additional blessings we receive are simply our reward for being obedient to His call upon our hearts.

What does all of this have to do with "You are not your own?" I'll tell you. I am not here to serve myself or to be served. I am here to further God's Kingdom. And in order to do that, I have to get really good at blessing others. I need to bless others the same way I pray. Automatically. Continuously. Non-stop. Accepting zero obstacles. It's the next level for me on this path to answer God's voice. And I'm going to practice it over and over and over until it becomes as natural as breathing.

In order to bless others, I have to take good care of myself. I've started walking again. And I intend to keep it up. Eating right is the next thing. And routine doctor's visits (which I must confess, I HATE!!) are incredibly important. I cannot be a strong warrior for God if I'm physically falling apart. I'm not hanging out waiting to meet Jesus. I want to live! And enjoy each day and bless others; to learn more and share the experiences. I want to show others God's character. We see enough of Satan in everything else around us.

What if we focused upon God's blessings and decided with our option to choose to look at the beautiful world He's given us and decided to take care of ourselves, each other, and everything around us? It will take heart surgery performed by the Master Surgeon to teach us how to overcome the vein of selfishness we all possess. But if we allow the procedure, it can happen. No one is too far from the reach of God. We just typically choose to ignore Him.

Challenge for the rest of this week: Go out of your way to be a blessing to someone each day. Just one act each day. Rather than walking by the person vertically challenged reaching for the top shelf, help out. Rather than letting the tired mother with the screaming kids fumble for her car keys, ask if you can hold the bag while she gets them. Of course, the latter may get you whacked with her purse, so approach with caution. :) But you get the idea. Just one a day and see what happens inside. I dare you! :)

Be blessed!! Bless others!