How did my mother survive??

Ok, most of the time when I post these notes or blogs or random rants I do so to offer something I've learned about myself through this study we call life. Well, with the rants, I haven't learned anything yet, I'm just ranting. :)

I vividly remember being a teen. I remember the conflicted emotions. The desire to be happy when I was sad, and being inappropriately happy when I should have been sad. I remember wanting to be all grown up and on my own, yet wanting to play Dukes of Hazard or Barbies (yes, I played with Barbies. There I've said it!) at the same time. I remember wanting to be respected for ALL of the knowledge I had and my perspective on life, all the while making my mother make decisions for me. I remember wanting people to like me, but hating what I saw in the mirror. I remember wanting a different life and being jealous of the ones who had what I wanted. I get it.

And as our parents also said, I wouldn't want to be a teen in these times. They face WAY more than I did. They have much more of the "world" bombarding them daily and the problems that used to be only "adult" problems plague our children constantly. Babies having babies, drug addiction, porn addiction, complicated adult-themed relationships. Maturity is barely where it needs to be for adults to deal with these issues, let alone our kids.

So, now I'm a step-parent. I don't necessarily consider myself "mom". For that role is still held and held by a loyal candidate. But I am an adult influence who does have a certain amount of say in what goes on with said teen.

I have a goal. I want to be an example of a well-balanced adult. I want to encourage good behavior, and correct bad behavior. I want to teach kindness, selflessness (in balance here, I'm not talking about co-dependence), charity. I want to "unlearn" selfishness, taker-mentality, entitlement mentality and so forth.

Really, I think the rules are pretty simple.

1. Respect others.
2. Pick up after yourself.
3. Don't whine and manipulate to get your way.
4. Accept no. It's for a reason.
5. Be grateful. It could be worse.

And as I sit and challenge myself as to why the past 3 weeks have included a sudden change in attitude and how on earth this occurred overnight, I'm compelled to look at my own rules and really think about them. Am I living them myself? Am I taking the high road when I should? Am I re-enforcing bad behavior because "it's easier" than standing my ground?

It's also occurred to me this list could be the one God would have me follow as well. Of course, it might be modified and worded a bit differently. But certainly it applies.

1. God doesn't want me to be cruel. He wants me to act with love and kindness to everyone I meet. Including the one's I've "righteously" judged. And I use that term loosely. I shouldn't judge anyone.

2. He wants me to be responsible with what He's given me. I should pick up after myself. I should keep the house clean, keep the car clean, keep the laundry clean. It's a testimony of appreciation for what He's given me when I do this. When I allow these things to slide, it's showing that I don't value things.

3. Whining and attempting to manipulate God has never worked. I'm sure it's just as annoying to Him as it is to me. Probably more so. Yet, I've done it.

4. No. Funny how it's often the first command we teach our babies as a word to let them know what they are about to attempt could be harmful; yet when God tells us no we feel dejected and unloved. We got this meaning from Him. His no is for protection just as much as our no is.

5. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. I would be a much better person if gratitude was the only thing that flowed from my mouth.

I've spent a lifetime battling anger, arrogance, judgmental behavior. It's only been the past several years I discovered the source and path of healing to overcome these "worldly" emotions and thought patterns. So, I'm really still quite "new" at the healing part. And I share my discoveries freely with anyone who is willing to read, or listen. And if something I've learned an adult can take and apply in their own situation and receive blessings of healing and improving their lives I am grateful God placed it upon my heart to share. And all glory to the Father!

But if I can share these lessons with a kid, and help them navigate those extremely difficult teen years and learn to cope with the slings and arrows of life now helping them develop healthy coping mechanisms and not worldly coping mechanisms, versus waiting until they hit some sort of bottom in their 30s, or their 40s, or worse, 50s or 60s to "get it" PRAISE GOD!! Hallelujah! Glory to the Father!! Thank you Jesus!! Thank you Jesus!!

What I wouldn't give to impact these kids and help them "get it" as they go, rather than falter around until the waves of life nearly crush them.

Father God, thank you for the young people you've placed in my life. Thank you for the opportunity before me to help impact their development into mighty warriors for your army. Lord, grant me the patience and the learning I need in order to share with them. Help me speak their language, Father. Give me the endurance to suffer their attitudes, mean-spirited words, angry glances. Let me learn to brush that by, for you have a greater plan, Father. Let me lead them by example. Let me embrace and practice the coping of your design and not that of this world. Continue your work in my heart to bring me to the person I was designed to be. Let your light shine through me and touch whomever needs to feel you. Keep me humble, Father, and always giving you the glory. In Jesus' name, Amen!