Leaning On Him

I recently finished reading The Love Revolution by Joyce Meyer and it's left me challenged and compelled to make a difference; even if that means changing the way I do things only in the corner of the world I touch. And specifically, using these techniques at home.

I've always struggled with anger. I've always had a temper and that temper has always had a short fuse. Seemingly trivial things can instigate instant rage. The drop of a hat can cause a severe blow-up and leave those in the wake of the wrath cowering. It's been this way for years.

The past several years, I've made a conscious effort to work on it. I've made a conscious effort to recognize when I've crossed a line and began to develop ways to corral it and try to lock it up again. Some days, I do a decent job. Many days I still fail. And every day is a new day to do better than yesterday.

About 6 years ago, I adopted the following mantra for myself:

To be a better person today than I was yesterday.

That was my daily goal. And, some may say it's admirable and simplistic. Perhaps. My journey to better understand our Heavenly Father throughout the most recent 3 years has actually caused me to modify this a bit.

To do a better job imitating Christ today than I did yesterday.

THIS is a HUGE challenge for me. Here's my quick summation of Jesus and the type of person He was, not from the Divine perspective, but from the human perspective.

1. He literally loved everyone. Jesus didn't know a stranger. He included ALL sinners in His circle.

2. He accepted people EXACTLY as they were, EXACTLY where they were, and encouraged them to become better; and in many cases, asked them to follow Him so they would learn precisely how to do that.

3. He wasn't harsh except once with regard to the temple and the money changers.

4. He LOVED kids; and even mentioned adults need to be more like them specifically in faith.

5. He was obedient even when He didn't want to be. The night He was captured, He prayed to God asking God to remove the cup before Him. He didn't know if He could endure the suffering He knew He faced. And He was scared. But even through all of that, and even though He could have invoked His Divine power and avoided the situation, He knew that wasn't God's plan. And He did what He was asked to do despite His fear and the agony He felt. He knew what God called Him to do, sacrificing His life for the world, would have a much greater impact than the time He would suffer; it would be for eternity. His suffering would not.

That's my top 5. Many more I could come up with, but let me share with you my struggles here.

Not only am I easily angered, I'm also extremely judgmental. So, that makes 1-3 of my "Be Like Jesus" list an absolute fight inside myself. The part of me that desperately wants to please God is constantly duking it out with my flesh that tends to follow the world. And if I'm not able to do 1-3 very well, it makes 5 difficult as well. For Christ commanded us to love one another. If I find it difficult to accept all people where they are and love them anyway not being harsh at all, I'm not doing a good job being obedient. (For the record, I happen to love kids, so #4 isn't too difficult.)

How do I improve my work with these?

It takes time. It takes practice. And it takes me being still within myself long enough to listen to the Holy Spirit when He reminds me I've just judged unfairly, or my angry tone is leaking again, or my refusal to extend kindness isn't the way Jesus would have acted.

I find my character defects leaping from me when I can't fix what is broken, when I feel I've done my part and others aren't doing theirs, when I'm in the middle of something and I'm asked to sacrifice that moment for anything else. I want to improve. I want to be better. It's a struggle. A daily struggle. But I'm committed to leave my heart in God's hands. Even if I can only do that for mere hours at a time, at least it is in His hands and the work He can do in such a short time is truly amazing.

Awareness is the first step. Well, I'm more than aware I'm not perfect. And I really don't need too many reminders; Satan does a fine job of doing that for everyone. But I do need God's grace and I do have His faithfulness and the Promises and His love. I have His forgiveness. I have His hope of something better and more than this world. And I have His encouragement to share my journey with everyone I can.

I will keep working with God to become who He designed me to be. I will continue to allow Him to use His strength for things in my life for which my strength is not enough. Prayers for each of you as you navigate the waters.... Be blessed!